Category: Megan Fox
Bruce Willis Was Nominated For So Many Razzie Awards They Gave Him His Own Category
Awards season usually kicks off with a sloppy, boozy Golden Globes ceremony, but this year, the closest we got was a sloppy, blunted GG nominations announcement followed by some unpaid intern at the HFPA “live-tweeting” the results into a void. But ahead of tomorrow’s announcement of the Oscar nominations, things are looking up. Just not for perennial hopeful Amy Adams who was just nominated for two Razzie Awards for two separate roles this year. While The Golden Raspberry committee had to create an entirely new category devoted to Bruce Willis’ unprecedented EIGHT nominations in a single year, I still believe in Amy and want better for her, prompting me to write a simple invocation. So, please join me in prayer.
Brian Austin Green And His Girlfriend Sharna Burgess Announce That She’s Pregnant In A Good Old-Fashioned Beachside Pap Shoot
Not to be outdone by Rihanna and A$AP Rocky’s surprise baby announcement pap stroll, fellow A-list music superstar Brian Austin Green announced that he’s going to be somebody’s father for the fifth time in a little choreographed pap shoot with his pregnant girlfriend Sharna Burgess. I know, it was wrong of me to compare BAG to RiRi since he’s obviously a bigger musical superstar. I mean, RiRi could never deliver a hot track like You Send Me. And now another child will get to say that their father is THEE David Silver!
Machine Gun Kelly Says Megan Fox’s Engagement Ring Was Designed To Hurt If She Takes It Off
I’m afraid your indifference toward Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox’s engagement has left them feeling a bit parched. Did you not see the ring? The “surprise” engagement? If you did, you did a piss poor job of acting impressed by their non-conventional, yet ultimately, mind-numbingly basic display. So here we are, having to be made aware of just how edgy, and for lack of a better word, rad, this couple is. MGK tried to tell us that ring was special in his Instagram post describing it as “two magnetic bands of thorns that draw together as two halves of the same soul forming the obscure heart that is our love,” but you squares missed the point. So MGK spoke to Vogue to clarify that those “thorns” are there “so if she tries to take it off, it hurts. Love is pain!” So go ahead, name a badder ass. I dare you!
Megan Fox And Machine Gun Kelly Got Engaged And Celebrated By Drinking Each Other’s Blood
Sorry Kanye West and Julia Fox, the attention whore couple of all attention whore couples are now ENGAGED! 35-year-old Megan Fox and her “twin flame”, 31-year-old Machine Gun Kelly (aka Weed) are getting hitched. Not since Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson has the world been so excited for nuptials! And hopefully, these ones actually happen because I mean, just picture the sort of stripper-chic wedding eleganza that Megan could serve us! Fashion Nova, start sewing!
Megan Fox And Brian Austin Green Settled Their Divorce
Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green split in late 2019. Megan entered her Machine Gun Kelly Period a few months later, and she officially filed for divorce in November 2020. This weekend TMZ reported that the divorce has been settled, and once a judge signs off (which could happen any day), things will be totally finalized. That’s right, Megan’s one squiggly signature away from having the legal freedom to become Mrs. Machine Gun Kelly, aka Mrs. Weed. May Satan help us all.
Machine Gun Kelly Got Booed And Fought With An Audience Member At The Louder Than Life Festival
It seems that everyone, but hardcore dickmatization victim Megan Fox, hates Machine Gun Kelly. Conor McGregor tried to fight MGK at the MTV VMAs a couple of weeks ago, and at this past weekend’s Louder Than Life Festival, the audience lived out the title of the festival by booing at MGK, and one audience member tried to fight with him. If only Megan was there, she could’ve softly caressed MGK’s cheek while calling him her “twin flame.” Everyone in the audience would’ve been too busy dry barfing to fight with MGK.