Category: He Went To Jared!

Machine Gun Kelly Says Megan Fox’s Engagement Ring Was Designed To Hurt If She Takes It Off

January 20, 2022 / Posted by:

I’m afraid your indifference toward Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox’s engagement has left them feeling a bit parched. Did you not see the ring? The “surprise” engagement? If you did, you did a piss poor job of acting impressed by their non-conventional, yet ultimately, mind-numbingly basic display. So here we are, having to be made aware of just how edgy, and for lack of a better word, rad, this couple is. MGK tried to tell us that ring was special in his Instagram post describing it as “two magnetic bands of thorns that draw together as two halves of the same soul forming the obscure heart that is our love,” but you squares missed the point. So MGK spoke to Vogue to clarify that those “thorns” are there “so if she tries to take it off, it hurts. Love is pain!” So go ahead, name a badder ass. I dare you!

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Kourtney Kardashian And Travis Barker Are Engaged

October 18, 2021 / Posted by:

I hope the Kardashians’ florist has a good financial planner because they need not ever work again if they don’t want to. Especially if they work Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker’s wedding after having supplied thousands of red roses for the Engagement of The Century (reality TV division only) which happened yesterday on the beach in Montecito, California according to TMZ. Travis proposed to Kourtney surrounded by an ocean of red roses and a camera crew who filmed the special moment for their upcoming reality show for Hulu.

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Rooney Mara And Joaquin Phoenix Might Be Engaged

May 29, 2019 / Posted by:

Sibling rivalry, thy name is Mara. The day after her sister Kate Mara announced the birth of her daughter with Jamie Bell, Rooney Mara decided to don her best flannel and parade around Los Angeles wearing a big fat diamond ring. Last summer there were reports that Rooney and her man Joaquin Phoenix were never going to get married because marriage is “too mainstream” and doesn’t fit their holistic, vegan lifestyle. But now it seems as if Rooney’s looking at that greasy salami we call matrimony that her sister is munching on, and it’s making her hongray.

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Orlando Bloom Proposed To Katy Perry In A Helicopter

February 26, 2019 / Posted by:

I tell you, Fuck You money is wasted on the unimaginative basics of this world. For example, Katy Perry was on Jimmy Kimmel Live to promote season 17 of American Idol and told the adorkable story of Orlando Bloom’s Valentine’s Day proposal. For the super wealthy, nothing says tacky over-the-top romantic gesture quite like a surprise helicopter ride (with the exception of a private Kenny G concert in your “living room”), so that’s exactly what Orlando did. And where did he whisk his lady-love away to, you ask? A private island? A secluded mansion on a remote coast? An aircraft carrier to be greeted by Cher and a thousand scantily clad seamen? No. After a mile-high, bumbling proposal with a bottle of champagne and a note, Orlando had them land on a rooftop probably less than a mile from where they got picked up. Boo. Look, Orlando’s was in 4 Pirates of the Caribbean movies. He can afford Cher’s per diem.

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Taraji P. Henson Got Engaged To Her Ex-NFL Player Boyfriend

May 14, 2018 / Posted by:

Tyler Perry’s Acrimony may have been described as “A ludicrously scattershot drama in which overwrought feminine rage, diary-of-a-mad-woman craziness, and inept filmmaking are all but inseparable”, but I doubt 47-year-old Taraji P. Henderson is too pressed about that right now. She just got engaged to her boyfriend of 2 years, 34-year-old former NFL player Kelvin Hayden.

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2 Chainz Proposed To His Longtime Girlfriend On The Met Gala Red Carpet

May 8, 2018 / Posted by:

The erroneously named rapper 2 Chainz (more like 22 Chainz, amiright?) proposed to his girlfriend of many years and three babies, Kesha Ward on the steps of the Met Gala. 2 Chaiz, who’s born name is Tauheed Epps, used to go by the charming stage name Tity Boi. Kesha and 2 Chainz have been together since 2006 but Chainz had not been invited to a public enough event to make it official previous to last night’s ball.

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