Amber Heard Has Filed An Appeal Asking For A Reversal Or A New Trial Against Johnny Depp’s Defamation Suit
Because dominating the press cycle with their marital drama from the years 2016 to present hasn’t quite been enough, both Johnny Depp and Amber Heard have now filed appeals to the Virginia court’s ruling in their most recent defamation trial, which ended with a jury siding with Johnny on all but one of Amber’s counter complaints. Earlier last month, Johnny filed to appeal the one judgment that went in Amber’s favor, and now, Amber’s filed an appeal to have the verdict overturned completely or be awarded an entirely new trial. Deadline reports that it could take years and the involvement of the Virginia Supreme Court “before this is settled, if it ever really is.” In which case, somebody might want to go nudge Helena Bonham Carter awake and offer her some extra long-acting smelling salts for when she passes right back out again after she learns her friend Johnny might not be “completely vindicated” after all.
After more than a year of edging fans with constant rumors, updates and teases leading up to the premiere of the Sex and The City revival And Just Like That…, HBO Max finally dropped the first two episodes. ***SPOILER ALERT!!!!*** The first episode finds Sarah Jessica Parker’s Carrie happily married to Chris Noth’s Mr. Big. In the couple’s opulent penthouse stands Chekhov’s Peloton, looming over the mundanity of their domestic life, threatening to CHANGE EVERYTHING. And ***SPOILER ALERT AGAIN*** it does. But you probably already knew that if you saw that overnight, Peloton’s stock price dropped faster than the remote control did out of my hand as I rushed to MAKE IT STOP before the next episode auto-played. This show is atrocious. Oh, and Big had a heart attack and died.
Things just took a turn for the spooky in Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s divorce saga. According to Page Six, Brad has some skeletons in his closet and I’m not talking about a cardboard cutout of Angie that he uses as a voodoo doll. A source tells Page Six that Angelina’s most recent volley, asking for the private judge that’s presiding over their divorce case to be dismissed, is indicative of the “love-hate” feelings she has for Brad and is effectively helping to “keep the focus off some skeletons in his own closet.” Now before your imagination runs wild like mine did, I can tell you that it’s not that Brad is actually completely bald under all those hats, it’s stuff we already know. It’s Brad’s penchant for avoiding personal responsibility when his artistic delusions blow up in his face.
Angelina Jolie, remember her? Sure you do, dark hair, kinda spooky, a bunch of kids and was married to Brad Pitt? Not much has changed over the years, in fact, all of those things are as true now in 2020 as they were in 2016 when she first filed for divorce. In fact, I suspect that the specter of Brad and Angie’s divorce proceedings have contributed to the evil forces we’ve been living under since that day. According to the AP, there’s still no relief in sight as Angie has decided she doesn’t like the private judge who she and Brad have been paying so that their personal business doesn’t become public, and has asked for his removal from the case. Page Six reports that it’s a stall tactic because things weren’t looking good for her. So yeah, we could be looking at four more years in purgatory for us as a nation if Angie doesn’t get her way.
Despite the fact that Alan Thicke is dead, fan-favorite Boner is dead, and Kirk Cameron is also dead (to me), Us Weekly is reporting that a reboot of Growing Pains, which ran for 7(!) seasons from 1985-1992, is in the works. Yes, technically Leonardo Di Caprio is still alive, but the chances of him reprising his role as a homeless pre-teen are slim. From the sounds of things, the GP reboot is still in the early stages and so far, only Mike Seaver (Kirk whose real life sister Candace is on Fuller House), sister Carole (Tracey Gold whose real life sister Missy was on Benson), and kid brother Ben (Jeremy Miller, a part-time caterer) have managed to clear their extremely busy schedules. And you can’t have a GP reboot without mom Maggie Seaver! And Judith Light lite actress Joanna Kerns has yet to sign on.
In the knowing words of internet disciple Antoine Dodson, who prophesized this moment a decade ago, “Hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ wife and hide yo’ husband” because Angeline Jolie and Brad Pitt are officially single. That’s right, the pink construction paper heart that once read “Brangelina” has been ripped down the middle, and “Bra” and “Ngelina” stand alone, slightly altered versions of their pre-coupled selves. But you can stop jumping for joy thinking that this is the last you will be hearing from these mofos until they start publicly banging new people. Although the law has declared them officially single, Angelina and Brad are still hammering out the never-ending terms of their divorce (and probably because she wants him back!!!). If they could only take a pair of ripple edge children’s scissors and cut down the middle of their bank account and kids, we’d all be over this already.