56-year-old Brad Pitt and 45-year-old Angelina Jolie split up in September 2016 after pushing through two years of marriage and spending over a decade together. And yet it seems like this divorce is lasting longer than all of that because we’re now back in a full-swing divorce-battle narrative and this is their, what?–Third? Fourth? There were two stories about them “getting along” and going to family therapy in the last three months alone. At this point, it would be more effective to drop both of them in a locked room with one sword and see who comes out. But this is a civilized society, so instead, it’s time for more “sources” to sling shit at each other. One source is saying that Brad is ready for a long, hard fight and another source is saying that Angelina is desperate to finalize this thing.
Angelina and Brad are technically single, but their divorce hasn’t been finalized yet, because they’re still fighting over custody and money issues. Most recently, Angelina was trying to get Judge John W. Ouderkirk, the judge in their divorce case, fired because he has a connection to Brad’s lawyer and she was afraid he’d help Brad’s legal team. Brad fired back at Angelina, saying that Judge Ouderkirk has a longtime connection to the both of them. Judge Ouderkirk even presided over their wedding. One source tells Us Weekly that this really pissed off Brad. And now, the battle is going to rage on:
“Brad says Angelina has gone way too far this time. He’s left with no other option but to dig in and fight back–hard.”
BUT WAIT, another source tells Us Weekly that she’s ready to be rid of their divorce shit:
“Angelina’s the one who filed for divorce. No one wants this divorce finalized more than she does.”
Listen, Angelina is wrong, no one wants this divorce more than us! We are tired Brangelina! And her lawyer, Samantha Bley DeJean, told Us Weekly that Angie just wants a fair decision:
“All my client is asking for is a fair trial based on facts, with no special favors extended to either side. The only way litigants can trust the process is for everyone involved to ensure that there is transparency and impartiality.”
Another source came back saying Brad “loves his children dearly, and he’ll be damned if he’s going to roll over without a fight.” And yet another source came forward to tell Us Weekly that this fight is about to be longer than a Marvel-movie directed by Martin Scorcese:
“They’re at a total impasse. And there’s no end in sight.”
Okay like I said, we need to have these two fight to the death. How long until the Hunger Games portion of the divorce? I mean for real if coronavirus can come and go before these two separate, that says a lot. Luckily, the influencer crowd is keeping coronavirus alive and kicking, so I guess these two still have some time before things get really embarrassing (too late, I know).