If Groundhog Day was a couple, it’s Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. And not in that weird kind of love-story way where they break up and get back together. It’s really more a fight over the same shit, day in and day out. The Blast is reporting that if you were thinking Brad and Angie were going to get divorced anytime soon, you can just forget about it, because these two cannot and will not give up the ghost. That ghost being their $60 million vineyard.
New legal filings with the court show that Brangelina are still trying to figure out how to divide up all that MONAY that they both have (or he does, I think she was broke?). Previously they’ve… well, they’ve done a lot. There have been a lot of divorce updates. And lawyers. But most recently, it was reported that their divorce was closed to being settled for good, but they still needed to hammer out details.
They have now asked the courts for more time and a private judge to come in and help them split things up. The court agreed as long as they pay for it. One of the points of contention for these two–us regular folk will love this part–they’re fighting over their rosé-producing vineyard in France. Château Miraval cost $60 million and sources tell The Blast they had planned to “pass down” the 500-acre vineyard to the child army. Wow. I’m similar in that my divorce fight would be over the empty-but-for-a-splash box of 2018 Pinot Grigio from my fridge–I’m passing down to my children inherited trauma, anxiety and $37 unused dollars in my PlaystationNetwork wallet.
Brangelina filed for divorce back in 2016! How is this still going on? At what point are they going to tire of paying lawyers to go over how much money they owe each other? Cut your fucking losses, people! Just sign the winery over to Shiloh and you two can visit. On separate weekends–Shiloh don’t need that headache.