Peloton can just not catch a break and the company is now coming out and publicly distancing itself from show Billions after a character on the recent season premiere had a heart attack on one of their exercise bikes. As everyone pretty much knows by now, a Peloton bike helped kill Mr. Big (played by Chris Noth) in the Sex and the City revival And Just Like That… when the character had a heart attack after riding one. The company managed to rework a stock drop and get a few hours of good press from that by using Chris in an ad for the bikes, but it soon was revealed Chris was an accused rapist and they had to pull the ads with him in them. Well, continuously triggering heart attacks on TV is not really the promo they’re looking for and they want you to know: Pelotons don’t really do that.
It was truly a whirlwind ride last week for the marketing team at Peloton, the ubiquitous internet-connected stationary exercise bike company. Their stock fell after that moment featuring Chris Noth’s Mr. Big on HBO’s And Just Like That…, which they recovered from with the help of a buzzy holiday ad starring none other than Chris Noth. Now they’re back on the bad side of publicity. After The Hollywood Reporter published stories from two women who claim they were raped several years ago by Chris Not, they pulled the ad. And it gets worse for Chris Noth. Actress Zoe Lister-Jones read what The Hollywood Reporter published, and she lent credibility to the allegations by coming forward with her own comments on the situation.
You’re not going to have Peloton to kick around anymore! But really, don’t kick it, you will cripple yourself. Those things are a menace. After watching their stock price drop during the premiere of And Just Like That when Carrie’s husband, Mr. Big played by Chris Noth, **SPOILER ALERTS FROM HERE TO ETERNITY** mounted one of their bikes and peddled off to heaven, Peloton is taking back the narrative in a big way and have released a new ad starring Chris and Peloton trainer Jess King. The ad suggests that instead of dropping mostly-dead (more on that later) from a heart attack, in reality, Big left Carrie to be with “Allegra,” the Peloton instructor (played by Jess) who Big jokes about having a crush on in that episode. As the copy says “And just like that…he’s alive.” Now, I know I said “in reality,” but Peloton continues to blur the line between fact and fiction and the ad is enough of a mind fuck, narratively speaking, that they’ve created a Schrödinger’s Big conundrum for the ages.
After more than a year of edging fans with constant rumors, updates and teases leading up to the premiere of the Sex and The City revival And Just Like That…, HBO Max finally dropped the first two episodes. ***SPOILER ALERT!!!!*** The first episode finds Sarah Jessica Parker’s Carrie happily married to Chris Noth’s Mr. Big. In the couple’s opulent penthouse stands Chekhov’s Peloton, looming over the mundanity of their domestic life, threatening to CHANGE EVERYTHING. And ***SPOILER ALERT AGAIN*** it does. But you probably already knew that if you saw that overnight, Peloton’s stock price dropped faster than the remote control did out of my hand as I rushed to MAKE IT STOP before the next episode auto-played. This show is atrocious. Oh, and Big had a heart attack and died.
Open Post: Hosted By The Peloton Husband Getting His Real-Life Girlfriend A Peloton Bike For Christmas
The Peloton wife might be on her way to the divorce attorney, but the Peloton girlfriend is probably already feverishly recording her progress every morning for her demonic husband! The “Grace from Boston” ad for the Peloton exercise bike was all the rage to rag on pre-Christmas this year due to its creepy story of an already slender wife seemingly forced to work out every morning for her psychologically abusive hubby. Well, Peloton wife got her ass out of that horror marriage (actress Monica Ruiz reprised her role as a newly single “Grace” in an ad for Ryan Reynolds’ gin) but the New York Post reports that Peloton husband is still up to his evil forced exercise regimen! The actor who plays Peloton hubby, Sean Hunter, got his girlfriend a Peloton for Christmas this year! *scream*
Of all the people taking that Peloton ad too seriously, Sean Hunter, the guy who plays the husband for all of 5 seconds, is taking it the most seriously of all. According to The New York Post, Sean wrote a blog post for Psychology Today, and with absolutely no sense of irony or humor, complained that his burgeoning acting career has been tainted (yes, he actually used the word “taint” with a straight face) by the negative reaction the commercial has received. Sean lamented “my 5 seconds of air time created an array of malicious feedback that is all associated with my face.” Quick, close your eyes — what does Peloton Husband look like? a.) A generic looking white dude, b.) Was the husband actually in the commercial?, or c.) Sean Hunter from Vancouver, the literal embodiment of the patriarchy, who will never work again, not after what he pretended to do to that poor woman with the knitted brow. Answer key after the jump!