Not even the late Sylvia Browne could’ve predicted that the Pagemaster and Annie Wilkes would eventually hook up. But it’s happening, because Ryan Murphy (and the year 2020) gives zero fucks about sanity. During an interview with E! News, Ryan says that Macaulay Culkin and Kathy Bates will do it on the next season of American Horror Story.
First off, spoilers much, Ry-dog? Second off, this Oscar-winning achievement (that’s right, the Academy is changing the rules to allow a televised sex scene to automatically win Best Picture) hasn’t even been shot yet. The next season of AHS was supposed to premiere this fall, but production has been delayed because of coronavirus.
The official premiere for A Star Is Born, which has had what feels like THE LONGEST rollout in all of movie history, happened last night at The Shrine Auditorium in LA. There were a lot of randos on the red carpet, but it turns out there were a lot of randos in the movie. We all know that it stars Lady Gaga as Ally The Ingénue and Bradley Cooper as Jackson Maine The Leather Satchel. But you might be surprised to learn that the cast also includes Andrew Dice Clay as Lorenzo The Geriatric DJ (judging from his outfit last night) and Willam Belli as Emerald The Real Star, Henny.
Sarah Paulson, Cuba Gooding Jr., Kathy Bates, and some other cast members of American Horror Story: Roanoke all got together for a panel discussion at the 34th annual PaleyFest in Los Angeles on Sunday. Since Cuba seems to be currently starring in his own personal series called American Mess Story, Cuba decided to give everyone in the audience an eye-full of Sarah’s ass by yanking at the back of her skirt. As you may have guessed, some people were not having it.
Sexy human cigarette (don’t judge me) Billy Bob Thornton recently reminded everyone that he’s still friendly with Angelina Jolie. He also moistened her ego a bit by saying he never felt “good enough” for her because she was such a saint. I figured that was Billy Bob’s way of dropping hints that he’s on Team Angelina in the dramatic divorce to end all dramatic celebrity divorces. But it sounds like that’s not the case at all.
Lady Gaga’s birthday is today and she celebrated the anniversary of her 30th year alive this past weekend by throwing herself a big party in L.A. that brought out bright shining A-list stars like Lisa Vanderpump, Asslee Simpson, Evan Ross and Lisa Rinna and low-rent has-beens like Taylor Swift and Kate Hudson. While working a painted-up face that screamed Clown School Carol Channing, CaCa strolled into her birthday party with her man Taylor Kinney, and everybody should’ve been screaming for the police since she obviously stole a dress out of the closet of Bette Midler’s Big Business character. But people weren’t doing that, because they were too busy staring at what looked like a wedding band on her finger.
When that hot piece of panty cream-inducing hotness Taylor Kinney and CaCa got engaged two Februaries ago, he gave her a heart-shaped diamond engagement ring. On Saturday night, she switched out that Mariah Carey kidney stone-looking ass ring for a plain gold band. So some think that Taylor Kinney is now officially Lord CaCa, because they got secret married.
I don’t know…..
If Lady CaCa gets married in a ceremony that isn’t televised to this planet and others, and doesn’t feature a wedding dress made out of live white doves, vows done entirely in a language created just for them, a 15-hour-long performance art piece by Marina Abramović and a first dance where little people dressed up as cherubs barf glitter-infused metallic paint on them, did Lady CaCa really get married at all? I think not!
In a groundbreaking study (sarcasming so hard that my forehead vein is going to pop) conducted by researchers at UC Davis, 122 male and female undergraduate students were shown movie clips featuring all kinds of heroines from the hot and weak type to the homely and strong type. Researchers wanted to see what kind of effects movie characters and actresses have on our self esteems and which “type” is the more valid role model.
Because clips of Nichelle Nichols in Truck Turner were not available, they used the patron saint of patron saints Angelina Jolie as the “attractive heroine” archetype. They used clips of her in Tomb Raider to show her as a strong bitch, and then used clips from The Changeling (aka “YOU ARE NOT MY SON!”) to show her as a weak ho. On the other side, they used Kathy Bates as the homely archetype and showed clips of her from Primary Colors (strong) and Fried Green Tomatoes (weak). Here are their findings from the Daily Mail which will totally make you fart out a cloud of SHOCK and throw you out of your seat (no, it won’t).
The volunteers were then asked questions to see how the clips had influenced their expectations of a woman’s role.
They found that both men and women thought good-looking characters were better role models than ugly ones.
Those who watched a clip of a beautiful and aggressive female lead – Jolie in Tomb Raider – were also more likely to endorse this type of character as a ‘role model’ than those who watched an aggressive but less attractive lead – Bates in Primary Colours.
Results, published in Springer’s Sex Roles Journal, showed that while women and men expect women to fulfil feminine and masculine roles, women tend to have higher expectations of themselves than men, and that watching attractive, strong heroines on screen reinforces this. Study authors Laramie Taylor and Tiffany Setters, from the
University of California, said: ‘Exposure to attractive, aggressive female characters actually increases expectations on women, including potentially inconsistent roles – after viewing, women are expected to be more independent and ambitious and more socially connected and nurturing.
‘These increased expectations for women occur not only among men, but among women as well, suggesting that women’s expectations for themselves are affected.’
First of all, using Kathy Bates as the “ugly type” is a dirty bird rude thing to do, Mr. Man! Second of all, I don’t really think of any movie characters as role models (except Nichelle Nichols in Truck Turner, of course). The only thing I feel while watching Angie in a movie is a craving for sour gummy worms and a Meryl Streep accent.
Researchers also forgot to mention the part that when Angelina Jolie watches Kathy Bates in a movie, she instantly feels bad about her own acting skills.
But seriously, Maddox needs to go back to crank calling Jennifer Aniston from a payphone outside of his French estate and stop posing as a researcher from UC Davis!