Last week, we heard that a total of 30 women had accused the ironically surnamed Cuba Gooding Jr. of sexual misconduct. The summary of which is that Cuba is allegedly a very grabby man who requires a 4-week intensive class in women’s boundaries and consent (with a focus on appropriate club patron behavior). Now Page Six is reporting that Cuba is now facing a rape accusation.
Once again, it’s taking every bone in my body to keep from making a “Cuba Gooding Jr? More like Cuba Bad-ing Jr” joke. Because Cuba Gooding Jr. is back in the news, and of course there isn’t anything good about it. 30 women have accused Cuba of varying degrees of sexual misconduct and assault. And to make this reality even worse (in 2020, are we surprised?), Cuba’s lawyer has accused his accusers of being “delusional,” due to them allegedly having small breasts.
The New York Daily News is reporting that Cuba Gooding Jr. continues to rack up sexual misconduct allegations, and seven more women were added to his case. Based solely on what month this is happening in, this is like Cuba’s own personal version of the 12 Days of Christmas. On the seventh day of Christmas, the Manhattan criminal justice system gave to me….seven more allegations, six invoices to my lawyers, fiiiiive hundred more hours in courrrrrt. Okay I don’t know about the last two, but we do know for sure that there are seven more women, which brings the total number of accusers to 22.
As we now know, and have just felt in our bones for some time now, Cuba Gooding Jr. is handsier than a haywire Mickey Mouse clock. At this point, trying to keep track of all the accusations of sexual assault against him, specifically of serial drunken groping, would require the use of a murder board and an entire Michael’s Craft store worth of string. According to TMZ, Cuba has pleaded not guilty to charges of “sexual abuse in the third degree and forcible touching” relating to an incident at Tao nightclub in October of last year. That’s the green string for those of you keeping track.
Okay, well now the Snow Dogs really are outnumbered. Cuba Gooding Jr. continues to rack up more charges against him, thanks to an alleged history of putting his hands where they most certainly should not be.