Adam Lambert Reveals That ABC Threatened Him With A Lawsuit After He Kissed Another Man During The 2009 American Music Awards

The common double standard for same-sex kissing goes like this: Two women? “YES!” Two men? “Get that gay ass shit off my TV…What about the children???” Whatever hypocrites. Luckily we’ve moved the needle of tolerance a few inches forward with Lil Nas X giving Satan lap dances and kissing whoever he wants to during his performances. But back in 2009, American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert bucked against the system by tonguing down one of his male band members during his performance at the American Music Awards. And it was a move so shocking that ABC threatened to sue him.

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Adam Lambert Reacted To The News That Theo James Might Star In A George Michael Biopic Before His Estate Debunked Being A Part Of It

Seven Christmases ago, The Grim Reaper tricked Santa into skipping George Michael‘s house so he could swoop in and steal him away from us forever. And although he left some drama behind after checking into the Pearly Gates, his legacy hasn’t been tarnished too much. That may change soon since Hollywood might be producing a George Michael biopic. But once nuclear explosion voiced rocker Adam Lambert discovered Theo James might be up for the titular role, he immediately rang the alarm with his disapproval right before George’s estate had the last word on this matter.

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Open Post: Hosted By Adam Lambert’s Nightingale Voice Bringing The Glittery Tears Out Of Cher

You know that saying about how you can’t get blood from a stone or water from a rock, or whatever? (Some of you whores may have thought of that saying while breaking your hand bones from spending way too long trying to get jizz out of a Viagra-made boner.) I thought of that saying while watching Cher squirt out tears, because I thought the stunning goddess molded out of plasticine had her tear ducts filled with Botox years ago. But I guess the magical power of Adam Lambert’s voice made the impossible happen.

The Kennedy Center Honors (not to be confused with my favorite kind of honors, The Kennedy Davenport Honors) happened earlier this month, but it aired on CBS last night. The moment that is making the rounds is when Freddie Mercury’s Wednesday matinee understudy cooed out an easy listening rendition of Cher’s biggest hit Believe. Besides Cher’s eyes releasing tears of sparkling beauty as though she just heard the words, “Trump’s been impeached,” my favorite part is at the 1:22 mark when Glamberace pulls out his ear monitor. You know a singer is about to drop some dramatic shit on you when they pull out their ear monitor. (Tip: Whenever you’re doing karaoke and are about to hit a high note while singing your song of choice, pull out an imaginary ear monitor and watch the bitches tip over.)

https://youtu.be/BgJSid_2xG0

Okay, I changed my mind. My favorite part starts at the 2:17 mark when he lets out two theatrical gasps while looking up. My guess is that the first gasp came from his mind being blown over his own angelic voice, and the second came from him seeing the face of God, and yes by the face of God I mean Cher in the balcony.

Pic: YouTube

Here Are Some Of The Looks From The “A Star Is Born” Premiere

The official premiere for A Star Is Born, which has had what feels like THE LONGEST rollout in all of movie history, happened last night at The Shrine Auditorium in LA. There were a lot of randos on the red carpet, but it turns out there were a lot of randos in the movie. We all know that it stars Lady Gaga as Ally The Ingénue and Bradley Cooper as Jackson Maine The Leather Satchel. But you might be surprised to learn that the cast also includes Andrew Dice Clay as Lorenzo The Geriatric DJ (judging from his outfit last night) and Willam Belli as Emerald The Real Star, Henny.

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Kelly Osbourne Dressed Up As a Satin Glide Tampon For Halloween

And one soaked in vodka, if the glazed look in her eyes and the two-man-lift it took to get her off the curb is any indication. I know, I know, I’m gross. But not as gross as what I came across when I was fact checking types of tampons. DO NOT CLICK IT unless you’re in a safe place to throw up or a glutton for punishment. I’m also going to need a head start if you want to come after me because I’m a natural gimp and trip a lot.

Kelly partied at Bootsy Bellows last night dressed as Carrie after a hard week of butting her giant, bargain basement Mrs. Slocombe head against Lady Gaga’s collection of various ‘roided out craft projects and hating on cake. Who the fuck hates on cake? Satan himself could send Dina Lohan to my door with a Fudgie the Whale cake, for which she had to Rockette kick a motherfucker in the face at Carvel and I’d be digging into that shit before I could tell White Oprah to get off my lawn.

Also pictured are  David Arquette, Carmen Electra and her tits, Joanna Krupa (delicately squatting in the gutter like all angelic beings), Shenae Grimes with her husband Josh Beech, and party host Adam Lambert.

(Pics via SplashNews)

Jeannie’s Still Got It

As Elton John, Billy Clinton, a knocked up Fergie Ferg, a long-lost Kardashian named Conchita Wurst, Glamberace, Karolina Kurkova, Kelly Osbourne, Melanie Griffith, Hilary Swank, Amanda Lepore, Carmen Electra and Azealia Banks were on their knees worshiping at her perfect feet, Barbara Eden performed as Jeannie at the Life Ball in Vienna. By “performed,” I mean stood on stage, looked at the audience, did a few of her Jeannie poses and stood on the stage some more. But you know, Barbara Eden could do something heinous like read Chris Brown’s tweets out loud and I’d still give her a standing ovation.

Hillary, better come and get Bill. You know Bill was looking at Barbara Eden in her Jeannie costume and was thinking to himself, “I’d let you rub my lamp. You might not get a genie who’ll grant you three wishes, but you’ll get something else you might like.” Stop it, Bill!

And Barbara Eden is 78! These young hos who are a third of her age could never bring the glamour like she can.