Not even the late Sylvia Browne could’ve predicted that the Pagemaster and Annie Wilkes would eventually hook up. But it’s happening, because Ryan Murphy (and the year 2020) gives zero fucks about sanity. During an interview with E! News, Ryan says that Macaulay Culkin and Kathy Bates will do it on the next season of American Horror Story.
First off, spoilers much, Ry-dog? Second off, this Oscar-winning achievement (that’s right, the Academy is changing the rules to allow a televised sex scene to automatically win Best Picture) hasn’t even been shot yet. The next season of AHS was supposed to premiere this fall, but production has been delayed because of coronavirus.
Ryan Murphy explained how he snagged Macaulay (or “Mack”, as he likes to be called), who hasn’t had a high profile acting role in years. via E! News:
How did Murphy get Culkin on board? It involves a “very, very great insane part” and “crazy erotic sex” with costar Kathy Bates.
“You know, it came about just because it’s how I always do things [Laughs.] where I have always loved Macaulay Culkin’s work. I loved everything that he’s done, I love the stuff he did in Home Alone, I also loved the sort of the older, more recent stuff that he did. And he hasn’t worked in a while,” Murphy explained.
“So, I have this very, very great insane part. And I asked to speak to him on the phone and he said OK,” Murphy said in an interview while promoting his Netflix series Hollywood. “[When] I cast, I never let people read things, usually. I said, ‘OK, here’s the pitch.’ And I told them the character and I told him he has crazy, erotic sex with Kathy Bates and does other things. And he paused and he goes, ‘This sounds like the role I was born to play.’ So, he signed up right then and there.”
“So I get to bang Kathy Bates? And you’ll film it? And I’ll have the footage for my records? Um… YA, I’ll do it for free.” Fair! I love Kathy. She’s the best thing in everything she’s in. Which is why, when I was 19, and a bitchy friend I’ve long since ditched told me that I reminded her of “Kathy Bates, but like… a writer”, I chose to take it as a compliment.
As for the theme of the next American Horror Story season? Well, Ryan was teasing us with Instagram posts like these:
Very Twin Peaks. And it looks like the gimp guy is back too:
But in an interview with The Wrap, Ryan said the whole theme of season 10 could change, because his idea was “weather-dependent”, and was supposed to be filmed in the warmer months:
“Well I don’t know, because a lot of what I was going to shoot was dependent on a very specific moment, it was a weather-dependent show,” Murphy told TheWrap during a recent interview to promote his new Netflix series, “Hollywood.” “So now I don’t know. I don’t know what we’re going to do. I don’t know what I’m gonna do next with that show. I don’t know if I’ll accelerate another season or wait till next year to shoot this one.”
Well, shit, Ryan! You can’t just dangle a Macaulay/Kathy sex scene in our faces and then tell us we might have to wait years! That’s the definition of blue balls! Wait, what’s blue balls for a lady? Achy vag? Cold clit? Owwie uterus? WAIT. Where does female jizz come from? Wow, this took a turn, I’ll stop.