Category: Jesus Take The Wheel

Chris Pratt Has The Boo-Hoos After The Internet Made Fun Of His Weird Post About His Wife

November 7, 2021 / Posted by:

The battle of the Celebrity Chrises rages on with some Chrises being crowned “sexiest” while others are dubbed “most annoying.” After making a weird tribute to his wife Katherine Schwarzeneggar on Instagram, Chris Pratt received a bit of backlash from the public. Some said it was a veiled hit against his ex-wife Anna Faris and their son and others thought it stank of “Cool youth pastor on social media.” Long story short, he didn’t gain any new fans from that post (he’s got the Stepford Wife vote on lock, though).

Rather than let the whole thing go, he donned his best American man outfit and took to Instagram to express his woes about not being universally loved. Chris Pratt continues to excel in being the least-best Chris.

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Pastor Carl Lentz’ Alleged Mistress Spilled Her Guts To The Sun

November 10, 2020 / Posted by:

The mistress speaks! It’s the moment we all hope for when a cheating scandal breaks, and for Justin Bieber’s former slick and sleazy Hillsong pastor Carl Lentz, that moment has arrived. A 34-year-old designer from New York City, who only revealed her first name, Ranin, has given an interview with The Sun. Is it as juicy as the interview Ruth Perez Anselmi gave about her alleged affair with Hailey Baldwin’s dad Stephen Baldwin? Sadly, no. We may never reach those heights again. But Ranin did say that the defrocked pastor (or more accurately here, skinny jeans stripped pastor) told her he was “an unmarried sports agent” and even though he broke off their months-long romance after he was caught, they’re still in love.

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Cupcakke Has Announced That She’s Quitting Music

September 23, 2019 / Posted by:

There is something very depressing going on with rapper Cupcakke, who–after a Twitter tirade dragging the shit out of fake true lovers Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello calling one racist and the other gay (guess which is which)–posted a very bizarre Instagram Live video where she announced she’s retiring from music. Not only that, but she said she’s canceling her upcoming tour, and taking all of her music off of streaming platforms.

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Nick Carter Got A Restraining Order Against His Brother Aaron Carter

September 18, 2019 / Posted by:

Nick Carter and his little brother Aaron Carter used to share so much. A love of douchebaggy nightclub assistant manager fashion. The same 046-Golden Poundcake shade of highlights. These days it would appear they don’t have much in common besides their last name, and the legal requirement to remain at least 100 feet away from each other at all times.

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Justin Bieber Needs You To Pray For Him

March 11, 2019 / Posted by:

Justin Bieber needs your thoughts and prayers, but mostly just your prayers, because what good are thoughts if they’re not #blessed? Justin’s not doing so great lately, despite having recently become a happily married man. On Instagram, Justin posted that he’s been “struggling a lot” and “just feeling super disconnected and weird”, which I think a lot of us just call “M-F and Most Weekends”. But who is Justin Bieber if he’s not having a spiritual crisis? Just an extraordinarily wealthy young dude with an unfortunate haircut, I’m afraid. So for Justin, the only way to weather this storm is through vigorous piety and prayer. And the way you can tell how good you are at it, is by how hard you squeeze your eyes shut.

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The Queen Was Spotted Driving Without A Seatbelt A Day After Prince Philip’s Crash

January 19, 2019 / Posted by:

The guy above is making the same grin and bear it “oh shit” face many of us were making upon hearing that Prince Philip and The Queen are both out driving around well into their 90s. And now, just one day after Philip’s Land Rover flipped in a crash, The Queen has been photographed flipping a virtual middle finger while driving without a seatbelt near the site of Philip’s accident. That Queen Elizabeth is one little sassy filly. Royals: they’re just like us (except they don’t need drivers licenses, can’t be prosecuted for breaking laws and seem to never die)!

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