Chris Evans Is Reportedly Going To Be Named People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” Next Week

November 5, 2021 / Posted by:

I’ve thought Chris Evans was a sexy man who is alive since I learned about his infamous 2004 Flaunt Magazine photoshoot. But society has quickly caught up and he’s been one of the top three Good Chrises for years now. This year, Page Six has heard from multiple sources that Chris–who may or may not be dating Selena Gomez–will be crowned People’s Sexiest Man Alive of 2021.

Last year the winner of the sexy title was fellow Marvel hunk, Michael B. Jordan. But it seems that Chris Evans almost nabbed the title last year. Page Six’s sources that People changed their mind decided to push Chris’ Sexiest Man Alive crowning to this year after he accidentally shared his dick with the internet. But other sources claim that Chris’ dick didn’t keep him from getting this highly-important title.

The Knives Out hunk was originally slated to take the mantle last year, but insiders tell us that bosses thought it was better to wait a year after he accidentally uploaded a picture of his penis online.

…Sources at the mag insisted the penis pic had nothing to do with Evans not being named the 2020 Sexiest Man Alive.

Chris is expected to be unveiled on People’s Sexiest Man Alive cover next week. In the past 10 years, People’s Man With The Hardest-Working Publicist In The Game title has gone to Michael B. Jordan, John Legend, Idris Elba, Blake Shelton, Dwayne Johnson, David Beckham, Chris Hemsworth, Adam Levine, Channing Tatum, and Bradley Cooper. And Chris currently has three upcoming movies he needs to push: Don’t Look Up, Lightyear, and The Gray Man.

Well, now we know why Chris has been hitting that piano so hard recently. Nothing solidifies a hotness promo-opportunity like some romantic musicality. I bet this bastard is probably gonna be holding his dog, Dodger, on the cover, won’t he? Can our nether regions even handle that?! And I have a feeling that this is going to be People’s biggest selling Sexiest Man Alive issue due to the simple fact that Lizzo will probably buy up hundreds of thousands of copies to wallpaper her entire house with.

Pic: Jaime Espinoza/WENN.com

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