Category: Jeff Bezos
Richard Branson Is Trying To Beat Jeff Bezos Into Space
Uh oh, we’ve got a billionaire space fight happening, and it’s anyone’s guess who will blast into space first. Sir Richard Branson has been talking about making space his final frontier for the longest time, with a little help from his Virgin Galactic space travel company. But then Elon Musk came along with an even bigger personal budget and a hyper-focused obsession with breaking through the Earth’s atmosphere, and it really did look like Elon was going to be the first billionaire in space. But just two days ago, Jeff Bezos announced he would be living out a childhood dream with his little brother Mark Bezos at the end of July, by going to space in a ship called the New Shepard, made by his space company, Blue Origin. Jeff’s ego was probably throbbing at the thought of winning the billionaire space race, but there’s a chance he might not actually get to space first. Richard Branson is now planning to get in the sky a few weeks sooner than Jeff Bezos.
Jeff Bezos Is Going To Space
Some kids play house, others – like yours truly – passed the hours in a pretend bar they made out of pillows and coasters stolen from a local peanut shells-on-the-floor dining establishment. And of course, lots of kids pretended to go to space. But not every kid grows up to be an astronaut, that is unless you grow up to be one of the World’s most grotesquely wealthy humans, in which case, you can do anything you damn well please. And that’s exactly what Jeff Bezos plans to do! He’ll be flying into space with the crew of his own space exploration company, Blue Origin.
Open Post: Hosted By Jimmy Fallon Claiming He Saw Jeff Bezos Say “Who’s Your Daddy?” To Alexa
Before multi-billionaire Jeff Bezos and his shady wonk-eye stirred cautious excitement in the hearts and bladders of beleaguered Amazon warehouse workers everywhere by announcing they were both stepping down as CEO, The Tonight Show host Jimmy Fallon had attended a house party where he claimed to have witnessed Jeff speaking provocatively to his own creepy, invasive invention, Alexa. 2021, no one asked for this.
Elon Musk Is Now The Richest Man In The World
The other day when I said 2020 was holding 2021’s beer, I should have said 2020 is holding 2021’s sheet of acid. Because, wow, we are into the looking glass now my friends. Today as we wait to see if Donald Trump will be removed from office or simply get away with inciting a coup with a pat on the back and a “better luck next time, buddy,” a dude that willingly let Azealia Banks into his house and thinks his baby is part alien, has just surpassed Jeff Bezos as the richest man in the world. IN. THE. WORLD. According to CNBC, after an incredible surge in Tesla’s stock price this morning, Elon Musk is now worth over $185 billion dollars. “Him?” you say. Yes, him.
Mackenzie Scott Gave Away Another $4.2 Billion Dollars
Nope, that wasn’t an earthquake you felt, that was Jeff Bezos’ left eye twitching with such force, ripples were felt as far away as Japan. Proving once again that yes, you can just do that, Jeff’s ex-wife MacKenzie Scott just gave away $4 billion dollars. This follows the $1.7 billion in donations that she gave away in July. Jeff’s so shook he shook us!
MacKenzie Scott (Formerly Bezos) Has Already Given Away $1.7 Billion Of Her Fortune To Charity
MacKenzie Scott is not fucking around. Last year she signed The Giving Pledge, which is an initiative started by Bill and Melinda Gates that encourages the world’s wealthiest people to donate at least half their fortunes to charitable causes. At the time, MacKenzie said she wasn’t going to waste any time in doing so. So while her ex-husband Jeff Bezos is apparently waiting to get Lauren Sanchez listed as a 501(c) before signing the pledge, MacKenzie quietly got to work. In just over a year, she has already donated $1.7 billion to various organizations with a promise to “keep at it until the safe is empty.” And while I’m pretty sure she’s not doing it out of spite to make Jeff look trashier than he already does, the probability of Jeff’s left eye twitching at the thought of people expecting him to do the same is a bonus act of charitable giving on MacKenzie’s part.