The last thing we need to see right now is another billionaire profiting off a deadly human health crisis. Luckily for current richest man in the world Jeff Bezos, he won’t have to worry about being one of those for much longer. According to The New York Post, Jeff is on track to becoming the world’s first trillionaire whose dick pics got passed around by his girlfriend’s brother. But also just the world’s first trillionaire period. Why it’s almost enough to make me consider canceling my order for that just for Zoom-funsies wig from the Dolly Parton collection that I ordered on Amazon.
According to NYP, we could see the rise of the world’s first trillionaire who looks like a sore thumb that got dipped in a tub of Vicks VapoRub as soon as 2026, thanks to the coronavirus pandemic.
The Amazon founder — whose fortune is estimated at $143 billion, up from $125 billion on April 12, according to the Bloomberg Billionaire’s Index — was trending on Twitter after recent research suggests he could achieve that feat by 2026.
The e-commerce giant’s sales topped $75 billion in the first quarter, driven by spiking demand during the pandemic that has kept people at home and depending on at-home delivery services, according to Marketwatch.
As you know, billionaires are very popular right now, especially ones who get to share their cash-stuffed mattresses with the world’s most glamorous women. Why else do you think Kanye West and Donald Trump have fought hard for the title? They are just so cool! With so many people unemployed and struggling right now, it’s nice to know somebody other than Drake will still be providing aspiration inspiration for us after we’ve buried our dead. However, some people are just plain jealous and think Jeff’s recent gains are ill-begotten and that he somehow doesn’t deserve the title of the world’s first unfuckable trillionaire. According to Complex:
Amazon founder Jeff Bezos was trending on Wednesday, after it was reported that he could be on his way to becoming the world’s first trillionaire. A recent study by Comparisun estimated that Bezos’ net worth could reach $1 trillion by 2026. While the study itself isn’t new, it started to circulate on Twitter Wednesday, with many highlighting how Bezos is benefiting from the coronavirus pandemic as millions remain unemployed.
Bezos’ viral moment comes just as it was announced that Amazon would end wage increases and double overtime pay come June, CNBC reports. That fact was not lost on Bezos’ many detractors, many of whom took to social media to call attention to the working conditions and lack of benefits for Amazon employees, as well as the overall income inequality in America.
Jeff Bezos is expected to become the 1st trillionaire as he consolidates the retail market during coronavirus.
Now Amazon is telling its workers (who have faced significant risk) that it'll be ending their hazard pay at the end of MAY!
— Rep. Bonnie Watson Coleman (@RepBonnie) May 13, 2020
they changed the headline now but this is genuinely the most horrifying sentence i’ve read in my life… how the hell is this just casual news pic.twitter.com/3tmkirqRBF
— samantha (@DECOUTURIZE) May 13, 2020
This isn’t fair! Why should Jeff Bezos, who obviously doesn’t have enough of everything, feel guilty about becoming the world’s first guillotined trillionaire by taking advantage of his employees who are putting their lives in danger every single day just so that our copy of Crafting With Cat Hair arrives by tomorrow?!