Kirsten Dunst And Jesse Plemons Got Married!
We interrupt our regularly scheduled program of doom, gloom, and full-throttle fuckery to bring you some actually happy news. “Happy news, I haven’t been touched by that in a while,” said everyone’s ear holes and eyeballs. Three-time Oscar winner Kirsten Dunst (yes, I tell myself that Kiki won Oscars for Drop Dead Gorgeous, Bring It On, and Dick) married Jesse Plemons after six years together. Yes, they’ve been together for six years, which may drop a load of SHOCK onto anyone who thought their blondie love first bloomed after they met at this year’s Oscars when Kiki was working as a seat filler!
40-year-old Kiki and 34-year-old Jesse first met while making the second season of Fargo, which came out in 2015. But Kiki had a man at the time (Garrett Hedlund) and after she successfully dodged the extra messy bullet that is Garrett Hedlund, she and Jesse got together in 2016. They made two sons with old-timey bank robber names: 4-year-old Ennis Howard Plemons and 1-year-old James Robert Plemons. Page Six says that last weekend, Kiki and JeJe made it legal at the Jamaican estate where Bond was born.
A source tells Page Six the pair said “I do,” last weekend in Jamaica at the luxury GoldenEye resort in Ocho Rios.
A rep for Dunst tells us, “I can just confirmed they got married. No other details will be given.”
While promoting Power of the Dog, which Jesse was also in, during an interview with The Los Angeles Times earlier this year, Kiki said that they already call each other husband and wife. But when it came to putting a wedding band on each other’s hitchin’ finger, COVID-19 got in the way and then a fetus moved into Kiki’s womb.
We call each other husband and wife. But we have to get married at this point. It’s ridiculous. We just haven’t planned a wedding. There was COVID, then we had another child. I didn’t want to be pregnant, get married, have a party and not be able to have fun with everybody.
And now they’re married. Congrats to Kiki and Jesse! And since they are keeping the details to themselves, I’m going to assume that during Kiki’s vows, she sang a hauntingly gorgeous acoustic version of Dream of Me from the early-aughts masterpiece Get Over It:
Oh, did I say that Kirsten Dunst was a three-time Oscar winner? I meant, four. She obviously won for Get Over It too!
Pic: Abby Grant/Cover Images