Better stock up now on a few bottles of J-Rod commemorative Goli gummies, they might be worth a lot one day. Shocking absolutely no one, Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez have officially called it quits after a tumultuous month of playing will they/will they later at a time when they can dominate the news cycle. I know we’ve been here before but this time the news comes straight from the horses’ mouths. In a press joint release, J-Rod announced that they realized they were “better as friends.” With benefits. Those benefits being residue checks for all their many and varied joint business ventures.
J-Lo and A-Rod announced their engagement in March of 2019. It took 2 years to build an empire, and only 2 years for it to call come crashing down. Ultimately, A-Rod was never able to get Jennifer to sign off on a line of weight gain supplements for bodybuilders, a deal-breaker for him. That’s my guess anyway. According to People:
Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez are officially calling it quits weeks after attempting to work through past issues.
On Thursday morning, the two issued a joint statement shared with PEOPLE.
“We have realized we are better as friends and look forward to remaining so. We will continue to work together and support each other on our shared businesses and projects. We wish the best for each other and one another’s children. Out of respect for them, the only other comment we have is to say is thank you to everyone who has sent kind words and support,” the statement read.
Well, that’s all very polite but I have a feeling things may have gotten Real World S1 real behind the scenes. Here’s Jenny from the Block’s most recent Instagram post which is almost as telling as her latest selfie spread where she showed off her recent weight loss. J-Lo finally lost that notoriously tricky last 5 pounds from around that finger.
Lopez, out! Meanwhile, here is A-Rod’s Instagram story from last night just before the news broke.
JLo and Arod finally call it a quits and this is the story he posts on Instagram??? Ummm ok Arod 🙈 pic.twitter.com/SgWVt1f3Vu
— Meggie G. (@mgot77) April 15, 2021
Pathetic. All that money and he still has picture frames that look like they came out the clearance rack at Marshalls. Oh wait, they probably have a deal with Marshalls. And in case you’re wondering, that customizable heart in the sand picture will set you back $35.99 (after discount) at PersonalCreations.com. Literally, nothing could be more romantic. Hims and Hers commemorative J-Rod broken hearts in the sand picture sold separately.