Today is already starting out as the Monday-iest of Mondays for me, because I’ve sunk so low that I’m actually throwing looks of jealousy at a newborn, who was born around forty five seconds ago, because that kid gets to start his life making skin-to-freckled-skin contact with Prince Hot Ginge!
Buckingham Palace put out a statement earlier today, letting us know that after being pregnant for approximately 4,586 weeks, Duchess Meghan started to experience the coochie freak-outs, and not because she spotted a wet PHG coming out of the shower this morning, but because she was going into labor. And not long after they put out that statement, their Instagram page announced that their baby, a boy, had arrived.
Here’s the birth statement that went up on their Instagram page:
View this post on Instagram
We are pleased to announce that Their Royal Highnesses The Duke and Duchess of Sussex welcomed their firstborn child in the early morning on May 6th, 2019. Their Royal Highnesses’ son weighs 7lbs. 3oz. The Duchess and baby are both healthy and well, and the couple thank members of the public for their shared excitement and support during this very special time in their lives. More details will be shared in the forthcoming days.
When the palace announced that Meghan was in labor, she had already given birth (THE LIES NEVER STOP WITH THEM), because she gave birth to little Baby Earl Willow of Dumbarton (again, they better name their child after THE QUEEN’S last corgi) at 5:26 this morning at Frogwhore Cottage.
And as we know, Duchess Meghan is not getting a blow out right now while stuffing her swollen feets into kitten heels, because she’s not doing the post-birth photo-op with her newborn like Duchess Kate did. Instead, PHG spoke to a reporter, saying that they are still thinking of names (uh huh) and will show off the newest royal in a couple of days.
Prince Harry: "It's been the most amazing experience I could ever have possibly imagined. How any woman does what they do is beyond comprehension… I’m so incredibly proud of my wife.” pic.twitter.com/j0vIjTEzmt
— Omid Scobie (@scobie) May 6, 2019
Huh, what did he say? I didn’t hear much, because I was busy fanning my loins over all of the mega DILF-ness that PHG is already giving off.