Duchess Meghan Finally Gave Birth And The Lucky Human Is A Boy

May 6, 2019 / Posted by:

Today is already starting out as the Monday-iest of Mondays for me, because I’ve sunk so low that I’m actually throwing looks of jealousy at a newborn, who was born around forty five seconds ago, because that kid gets to start his life making skin-to-freckled-skin contact with Prince Hot Ginge!

Buckingham Palace put out a statement earlier today, letting us know that after being pregnant for approximately 4,586 weeks, Duchess Meghan started to experience the coochie freak-outs, and not because she spotted a wet PHG coming out of the shower this morning, but because she was going into labor. And not long after they put out that statement, their Instagram page announced that their baby, a boy, had arrived.

Here’s the birth statement that went up on their Instagram page:

When the palace announced that Meghan was in labor, she had already given birth (THE LIES NEVER STOP WITH THEM), because she gave birth to little Baby Earl Willow of Dumbarton (again, they better name their child after THE QUEEN’S last corgi) at 5:26 this morning at Frogwhore Cottage.

And as we know, Duchess Meghan is not getting a blow out right now while stuffing her swollen feets into kitten heels, because she’s not doing the post-birth photo-op with her newborn like Duchess Kate did. Instead, PHG spoke to a reporter, saying that they are still thinking of names (uh huh) and will show off the newest royal in a couple of days.

Huh, what did he say? I didn’t hear much, because I was busy fanning my loins over all of the mega DILF-ness that PHG is already giving off.

Pic: Wenn.com

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