Blind Item Time: Jessica Simpson Wrote A Short Story About Being Seduced By A Famous Actor Who Wasn’t Single Back In The Day
Though Jessica Simpson was widely considered “the dumb one” when it came to female pop stars of the early aughts, she’s evolved into a best-selling wordsmith (with an assist from a ghostwriter, of course) and successful businesswoman. But Jessica must’ve recently either gotten bored with making the populace uncomfortable with her Pottery Barn Kids ads or she’s in the market for more money and/or attention; because she just released a short story taken from one of her journals of long ago about the time a major movie star pursued her back in 2001. Disappointingly, she didn’t name any names, but she recalled feeling like a hooker (and I’m guessing not the wholesome, rom-com Pretty Woman kind) before ending the affair.
#PrinceOfPegging was trending yesterday and if you clicked on that hashtag, you probably got the WTF image of Prince William’s b-hole twitching in excitement every time his eyes land on a royal scepter. Because speculation spread that Prince William spreads for those royal butt cheeks for some pegging action, which is when someone dons a strap-on to butt fuck someone else. The rumor didn’t come up after Prince William pulled a Madonna and Guy Ritchie, and was spotted leaving a sex store with a mighty Purple Penetretator in his shopping bag. No, the speculation started over a not-so-blind-item that DeuxMoi posted. Yup, so it’s 100% legit! And the royal pegging rumor is by far the LEAST GROSS sexual thing they’ve allegedly done. Let the prince get pegged if that’s what he wants, but that’s not the scandalous part. The scandalous part is that the blind item alleges that the royal in question doesn’t get into pegging with his wife but with his side piece instead.
Here’s good old fashioned blind item for you that involves an A-lister’s erect penis in search of multiple sex partners. Page Six reports that somebody, whom they consider to be A-list, sent “an extremely graphic picture” to multiple opposite-sex couples online within the LA swingers community, without bothering to conceal his identity. Which fine, swing away, playa. However, it wasn’t the dick that caught people’s attention. It was the fact that this particular dick “has been hit with several #MeToo accusations.” Page Six says they’ve seen the picture but won’t reveal his identity because they are a bastion of integrity and restraint or some shit. Cock teases!
Kaley Cuoco was on Vogue.com’s Sad Hot Girls series, and told a story about how she dumped a famous actor for being a cheapskate. We all know Kaley Cuoco has that Big Bang Theory money, so I’m sure there’s a lot of people judging her for judging someone else’s lack of tipping, but this story actually happened when she was 19 years old. Kaley calls the guy “John,” because if she said his real name, “you’d know who he is.”
Tiffany Haddish either gives 0.0000 fucks about Beyonce threatening her with an NDA in song, or in that selfie above, Beyonce is whispering into her ear, “Now, I’m going to need you to tell everyone about that cracked out home wrecking trollop trying to get with my man, and I’m going to act like I’m mad about you spilling it, but keep on, keep on…” Because Tiffany has more to say about the messy night she met Beyonce.
Tiffany already said that Beyonce kept her from whooping the ass of a trick who was trying to become Jay-Z’s latest side piece, and now she’s telling GQ that the trick was on drugs and took a bite out of Bey. Whoever that cracked out actress is, she better start begging for the authorities to let her into the BPP (Beyhive Protection Program), because if there’s one thing that the Beyhive has (besides a crazed undying love for Beyonce), it’s the time needed to track down the evil doer who stabbed their Jesus in the face with her teeth.
Since everyone in this story goes by a variation of the anonymous “Doe“, I thought I’d lead with a picture of a doe. My apologies to Bambi’s mom.
According to TMZ, a lawsuit has been filed recently by a former personal assistant to a famous celebrity. The lawsuit includes accusations of sexual battery, assault, and exposure to HIV. How hard do we think Charlie Sheen’s publicist started sweating after hearing about it?