Category: Here We Go

Armie Hammer Gave His First Interview Since His Abuse Allegations And Denied Any Criminal Wrongdoing

February 6, 2023 / Posted by:

It’s been two years since Armie Hammer’s adventures in kink quickly went from “haha that brick of boring from Mirror, Mirror is into rope bondage” to brain bleach territory with accusations of abuse, rape, and his alleged hunger for lady ribs. Armie already denied that his relationships with his accusers were anything but consensual. And since then, his Hollywood career ended up in the shit can after he was fired from project after project, his wife Elizabeth Chambers filed for divorce after 10 years of marriage, he spent some time in rehab (paid for by his personal Captain Save A Cannibal Ho, Robert Downey Jr.), and he was investigated by the LAPD over rape allegations. And as of last summer, Armie was trying to support his family by selling timeshares on the Cayman Islands. Well, I guess not many want to get a free prime rib dinner to listen to a 19-hour timeshare presentation from the fallen movie star who allegedly wanted to get his side piece’s ribs surgically removed for him to eat. Because Armie seems to be taking the first step on a “comeback trail” and has given a long ass interview to Air Mail. An interview that seemed to be carefully orchestrated by his PR team to pull in as much sympathy as possible. But wait, does he even have PR tricks anymore?

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As Expected, The Royals Are Milking Every Last Drop Out Of Prince Hot Ginge And Meghan Markel’s Wedding 

November 28, 2017 / Posted by:

Believe it or not, I didn’t create that opulent commemorative mug (for your tears) so that I could shadily spell Meghan’s name wrong. But kudos to the bitter shady bitch who did (it was Pippa).

Usually, writing the words, “milking every last drop out of Prince Hot Ginge,” would make me tingle out of my sweatpants, but not this time. Back in the olden days, when those lesser royals (Prince TheBalderOne and Duchess WhoCaresSheAintMeghanMarkle) got engaged, they dragged out the wedding details longer than a Marvel movie marketing campaign. So of course, they’re going to do the same with Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle’s wedding. Yesterday, the Royal Family said that the wedding would happen sometime in the spring. Today, they announced that it will happen sometime in May 2018. Tomorrow, they will announce that it will happen on a weekday sometime in May 2018. On Thursday, they will announce that it will happen on a weekday during the second, third or fourth week of May 2018. Soap opera producers should hire the Royal Family PR team, because they can stretch out a story arc like no other.

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