George And Amal Clooney Threaten To Sue A French Tabloid For Publishing Pics Of Their Twins
George and Amal Clooney’s twin babies, Ella and Alexander, are just shy of two months old. And until this morning, no one outside of George, Amal, family, friends, and their part-time nannies have seen what Ella and Alexander look like. I could imagine what they looked like: small unbreaded chicken nuggets, maybe. Then a French tabloid called Voici went ahead and solved the mystery by publishing the first blurry shots of the Clooney babies on the cover of their latest issue. George and Amal are extremely pissed about that.
A-Rod And JLo Celebrate Birthdays With A Joint Party
No, unfortunately it was not that kind of joint party. Power couple Alex Rodriguez and Jennifer Lopez celebrated their birthdays jointly by throwing a over-the-top party.
TMZ has riveting footage of it.
Gwyneth Paltrow’s “Team GOOP” Took On Their Haters!
The amount of eye rolls and laughter directed at rich white lady caricature Gwyneth Paltrow and her website of swindling GOOP has recently increased. Gwyneth’s most recent ludicrous and potentially hazardous product shill has been for jade eggs that women can insert into their most beautiful and life-giving orifice, to increase pelvic-floor strength and sexual satisfaction.
Everyone except the nanny-jealousy-stricken Lululemon Goop Gestapo set found this laughable. One doctor found it to be potentially dangerous. Gwyneth didn’t do her website any favors when she went on Jimmy Kimmel Live! and admitted she’d never used her own vagine as an incubator for jade eggs. Well, Goop is now in damage control mode. They’re striking back and would like everybody to have a tall drink of Haterade and shut the eff up! They have doctors who didn’t get their medical licenses in the Caribbean who can back this shit up! And how dare you stifle their sales of silly jade hoo-ha eggs their free speech? It’s anti-feminist or something! Continue reading
Madonna Slammed Whitney Houston And Sharon Stone In A Letter
Some of the Madonna memorabilia available for auction next week include the sunglasses she wore in the Lucky Star video, pictures of Madonna rolling around on the floor with a stripper at a bachelorette party, a hair brush with her hair still in it and a pair of “personally worn panties”. However, one item in particular has got people filling their ice trays in preparation for a big ole pitcher of that sweet, sweet tea: A never before seen letter (no not that letter) penned by Madonna some time in the early 90’s in which she calls both Whitney Houston and Sharon Stone “horribly mediocre”.
Someone Has Filed Forms For The Rock’s Possible Presidential Run
Mike Judge might want to think about filing some copyright infringement notices against whatever metaphysical being is controlling this planet, because here’s yet another sign we could be living in a real-life Idiocracy. Two months ago, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson teased in an interview with GQ that he was considering a run for President of the United States of America. Not long after, he joked during an SNL monologue that he was running for President on a ticket with Tom Hanks. Ha ha ha, so funny! Except this might not be a joke anymore.
Kathy Griffin Pretty Much Confirms That She Was Interviewed By The Secret Service
My brain purged the memory of Kathy Griffin’s bloody Trump head stunt, because it needed to make room to store newer acts of fuckery, like Trump threatening to CNN in a headlock and wrestle their asses. So I forgot about the Kathy scandal for a minute, but apparently, she really is under investigation by the Secret Service and that investigation is still going on. If the Secret Service also interview Johnny Depp for his assassination joke, more of our tax dollars will be wasted on the Febreze-scented nose plugs the Secret Service will have to wear while talking to him.