I guess you could say that A-Rod was the victim of a-rob…bery. That worked better in my head. That terrible joke was almost as shameful as what thieves did to A-Rod when they reportedly pilfered nearly half a million dollars worth of goods from his rental car. The actual value is still up for debate, but the general consensus is that A-Rod was cleaned out.
Want an inside look at Jennifer Lopez‘s fabulous life and her equally amazing 50th birthday party? No? Too damn bad. Jennifer’s YouTube account decided to treat the peasants to a day in the life of the gentry folk–giving us a sneak peak into Jennifer’s birthday shenanigans which involved a totally low-key party and of course simple little gifts. One in particular: a custom Porsche that cost more than $146,000 courtesy of her new fiancé Alex Rodriguez. And JLo doesn’t even drive herself.
Most tricks of the Met Gala did not do the smart thing before picking their outfits by consulting true experts in camp like John Waters, the ghost of Divine, Angelyne, Elvira, Harald Gloockler, Tan Mom, or even Phoebe Price. It seems that many of them went to the same place: CHER. There was so much Cher-a-likes that the damn theme should’ve been Cher, who even performed (more on that in a second). Celine Dion also slathered herself in Cher, but it worked for me, because she’s Celine Dion, and also it looked like her head was getting attacked by a gay tumbleweed. Celine was asked what camp is to her, and her answer was so hilarious and wrong that I think it counts as camp…
Jennifer Lopez is not here for your opinions on her engagement to or her relationship with Alex Rodriguez. Sure she puts that shit out on full display with couple endorsements and professionally photographed engagements, but mind your business! Yes, A-Rod has a history of being a down and dirty dawg, but he has changed! He is not the man he was before and JLo knows it! So the Jose Cansecos of the world can just eat it.
Page Six is reporting that A-Rod knows what he’s about to get into. Sources have been talking and they’re saying that A-Rod has been told that JLo is Jenny From The Block if the block is on High Maintenance Street. But yet, A-Rod still put a ring on it because he is going to do JLo right and not “mess her around.” As opposed to his other relationships, who were lower maintenance so it was like, “Yeah, go ahead and mess around, girl!”
While malevolent forces are really out here trying to sour Jennifer Lopez‘s recent engagement to former baseball player, Alex Rodriguez, she is not going to let them. Yes, Jennifer has seen all of the (incredibly fast appearing) cheating rumors which began spreading from Jose Canseco‘s Twitter account and has now begun taking new life. And she apparently doesn’t care.