Jennifer Lopez recently did what Jennifer Lopez has been known to do many times before, which is that she posted a mid-workout selfie from her in-home gym. Except this time, no one was looking at JLo’s abs or wondering how much time that photo spent as an open document in Photoshop. People on the internet were terrified over what appeared to be a spooky masked man staring at JLo through her window.
But we can all stop screaming for JLo to stop taking selfies and use that iPhone to dial 911. People magazine got to the bottom of the mystery, and it’s not nearly as creepy as the internet thought.
This is no doubt going to be heartbreaking news for anyone who was eagerly anticipating what it would be like if Jennifer Lopez owned the New York Mets. Me personally, I pictured Mr. Met in a sexy pinstripe thong, whipping himself around a stripper pole while JLo belted out an extra-sexy version of the national anthem. That’s definitely not something that will ever happen, because The New York Post is saying that JLo and Alex Rodriguez have ended their quest to buy the Mets.
Today in business and sports news (sigh), Jennifer Lopez and her current fiancée, Alex Rodriguez, whose combined net worth is reportedly about $700 million, “have retained JPMorgan Chase to raise capital for a possible bid on the New York Mets.” Translation: JLo and A-Rod partnered with some big money companies to try and buy a baseball team.
Damn, when those two finally get hitched, that divorce is going to be a doozy. Continue reading
Yesterday, Sean “Diddy” Combs hosted The Team Love Dance-A-Thon, anInstagram livestream which featured over 100,000 viewers looking in on celebrities having a great time quarantined in their million-dollar houses. Whoopee! It was for charity, though, with the money raised (over $4 million) going to the non-profit Team Love x Direct Relief COVID-19 fund. And it featured a bunch of celebrities like LeBron James, Shaquille O’Neal, Snoop Dogg, Drake,a pregnant Ciara, and Russell Wilson. Apparently Diddy didn’t know Ciara is pregnant. Eye roll.
Two more celebrities made an appearance including Diddy’s ex Jennifer Lopez and her fiancé Alex Rodriguez. They were all cool with each other. But it looked like what was not cool for Diddy was Lizzo shaking her ass, because he shut her down while allowing reality show person Draya Michele to do the same thing. But Diddy claims he wasn’t twerk-shaming Lizzo, and blamed it on curse words.
Sure, Jennifer Lopez and Trump’s reported COVID-19 advisor Alex Rodriguez are multi-multi-millionaires who could easily workout in their luxurious gym at home (or snap at their assistant to quickly build them a luxurious home gym if they don’t have one), but then how would they get papped during this pandemic? For rich attention whores, getting papped in workout clothes IS an essential. So even though JLo and A-Rod’s gym in Miami was closed to the peasants, it opened up for them, right before a stay-the-fuck-at-home order was finally issued in the state of Florida.
As many of you know, the world of sports is an absolute ghost town, so in order to keep fans thirsting for something, I guess they are now brushing away the tumbleweeds by reporting on stuff like this? According to Sports Illustrated (not a line I thought I’d be typing today), Donald Trump has been asking former Yankees (I think that’s baseball) player Alex Rodriguez for advice about the deadly coronavirus. You read that correctly.