Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis’ 17-year-old daughter Lily-Rose Depp closed today’s Chanel couture show in something that a rich southern belle would wear to her quinceañera in the 1980s. Lily-Rose looks like a school girl from the 1920s who’s in the middle of getting attacked by a pack of mutated shower puffs from the future. That dress looks like what you would get if you injected steroids into the knitted toilet paper cozy in your memaw’s guest bathroom.

Lily-Rose Depp is apparently Kunty Karl’s current muse and that’s why she wore the wedding dress at the Chanel show in Paris today. Two things:

1. I once read an article about the world of couture, and a customer said that nobody asks how much that shit costs. If you have to ask, you can’t afford it. So based on that, I’m guessing that Kunty Karl knows of a billionaire 9-year-old girl who really needs a beyond-froofy froofy Barbie gown for the play wedding she’s having with her teddy bear. Because that’s who that dress is for.
2. I hope that Lily-Rose learned how to run in that dress. Because I’m sure that when she and Kunty Karl got backstage, his vampire nostrils started to twitch and when his vampire nostrils start to switch, you better run before it’s too late. He smells your blood!

And here’s more of the Thoroughly Modern Millie’d up models (including a Jenner and a Hadid) at the Chanel couture show.

Pics: Wenn.com

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt recently decided they will make the the details of their custody drama private. So far, they’ve kept their promise, which means it’s back to our regularly scheduled program of Angelina Jolie, Modern Saint.

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Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons played two married dummies named Peggy and Ed on the second season of Fargo, and their whole relationship centered around them bumbling their way through the cover-up of a whoopsie-murder. Spending months talking about body-disposal, blood-removal, and the best way not to get revenge-murdered by farmers was the sort of thing that brought them close together. How could it not? They reportedly hooked up in real-life after the show ended, and now there’s a rumor that they’re engaged. Kirsten Dunst may be one step closer to living out that wifey life she’s always dreamed of.

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