Dramatically throw a black lace mourning scarf around your neck, because Amber Heard is done with being married to Johnny Depp after only 15 months. TMZ says that Amber filed papers on Monday to legally quit Johnny’s ass, and she did it just days after his mom died. January Jones is about to pass her ice cold queen crown to Amber Heard.

Entertainment Tonight says that Johnny’s mother, Betty Sue Palmer, died on May 20 in Los Angeles after being sick for a while. She was 81. Johnny and his mom were apparently really close. TMZ says that in the divorce documents Amber filed, she lists May 22 as the day they broke up for good. Amber says that “irreconcilable differences” is the reason why she wants to become Johnny Depp’s second ex-wife.

Like most of us, Johnny must have thought that this blessed union with Amber was going to last until eternity, because they didn’t sign a prenup. Amber wants spousal support, because duh. If you married someone who brings in millions of dollars yearly and they didn’t make you sign a prenup, you have to try to get a piece of the pie or you won’t be able to leave your house without getting covered in spit from other gold diggers who are sickened by you.

Because of the whole “no prenup” thing and the rumors about how their marriage was eating shit only six seconds after it began, this could get messier than the dental bib that Johnny wears during his visit to the dentist every 15 years. (UPDATE: TMZ says that Johnny has already filed his response and wants the court to trash Amber’s spousal support request.)

It must have been a really hard decision for Amber to make, because now that she’s not with Johnny Depp, she’s going to get less chances to throw down her pose game in front of a sea photographers at events. But then again, she’s a part of DC now and every one of those movies will have at least 50 premieres, so she’ll be fine. And really, after Amber and Johnny made that masterpiece hostage video together, she probably figured that their marriage had peaked and they’d never create anything as magnificent as that together again.

The good news for Johnny is that now he, his true soulmate Barnaby Joyce and Boo & Pistol can be one big happy family, at last.

Pic: TMZ

This Open Post is a tribute to the artist who took many of us on a delicious journey through a movie theater concession stand dreamland in the 90s and beyond. John McLaughlin was a visual effects artist who worked on several movies like Kung Fu Panda, Kung Fu Panda 2, Kung Fu Panda 3 and Shark Tale. But before he worked on the movies that your kids probably make you watch 45 times a day (after you’ve watched Frozen 65 times, of course), he created the roller coaster animation that played before every movie at every Regal Cinema.

John died on May 12th at the young age of 46. In his obituary in The Oregonian (via Mashable), it says that the Regal Cinema roller coaster animation was a personal project and one of his favorites:

One of John’s favorite personal projects that he created was the Regal Cinemas preview trailer featuring a roller coaster in space speeding between soda, candy and popcorn that played before each and every movie.

There’s been 4 updated versions of the dizzy-inducing roller coaster, including the latest one which is all Tron-like. It has NOTHING on the original. Hell, sometimes the Regal Cinema roller coaster ride was better than the movie itself.

https://youtu.be/H6o6ZlefvOo

Thank you, John, for bringing people so much joy, and I know it did, because there’d always be at least one person who raised their arms and screamed, “aaaaaaaah,” during the drops.

If I know anything about Liam and Noel Gallagher, it’s that the only thing they hate more than Adele and popular music is each other. Now, there are two ways to keep the fires of a feud burning. You can pull a Mariah Carey and softly fan the hot coals of hate by continually refusing to acknowledge said person you’re feuding with. Or you can do like Liam Gallagher did recently and dump an entire can of gasoline on it.

This all happened on Twitter, which makes sense, since Twitter is basically the internet’s unsupervised fire pit. The Independent isn’t sure what set Liam off, but they think it might have had something to do with some positive comments Noel received during a recent Gigwise interview about his upcoming third solo album. Because he’s such a sweet, supportive younger brother, Liam decided to congratulate Noel by coming hard for him and his producer David Holmes. David was dragged into this mess, because he was responsible for the nice words, which included calling Noel’s new album “fun.” Liam opened with a slap at David for being a “YES man“, then proceeded to shit all over Noel and compare him to a ground-dwelling vegetable.

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I don’t exactly know how he can be “inbred with a tomato,” but I see it. That picture is giving me “Willy Wonka’s three-course meal gum malfunctioning during the tomato soup part.”

Barnaby Joyce, Australia’s agriculture minister turned deputy PM, has officially replaced soap as Johnny Depp’s number one enemy. The never-ending saga of the Yorkie smuggling case that rocked Australia and the world finally came to an end last month. Amber Heard pleaded guilty to falsifying quarantine documents, and after she and Johnny filmed a hilarious apology/hostage video, she got a slap on the wrist. That was that until Barnaby and Johnny decided to drag it out some more. Barnaby gave his own bitchy review of the apology video and Johnny also made fun of the video and the whole situation at a press conference. Well, on Jimmy Kimmel Live! on Monday, Johnny talked about one of his greatest artistic achievements (aka that apology/hostage video) and also said that Barnaby Joyce probably tastes delicious with a drizzling of balsamic and a slice of mozzarella.

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Hot douche hall of famer Maksim Chmerkovskiy and fellow Dancing with the Stars professional dancer Peta Murgatroyd are getting married. They announced that back in December during a show in Miami. They’re also apparently expecting a baby. That was announced on Monday on the set of DWTS, but not by Maksim and Peta. That announcement was provided by DWTS co-host Erin Andrews, and it was broadcast to everyone on set live via her still-on microphone.

According to TMZ, not a whole lot of people knew that Peta was knocked up; some close friends and family members didn’t know. But apparently Erin had some insider information, so she decided to go backstage during rehearsal and congratulate Maksim on successfully stuffing Peta’s pocket. The only problem was that she was hooked up to a mic, and everyone heard. As for how awkward it made things between Erin and Maksim and Peta, the answer is: very. Sources say that Maksim and Peta are pissed, because they wanted to announce it themselves. Then Erin allegedly attempted to fix it by trying to play it off like it was a joke.

As for if Peta is even pregnant or not, multiple sources are whispering to People that she is. Those sources could just be a bunch of people whose baby monitors and car radios accidentally intercepted a signal from the DWTS mic feed. Then again, they could have insider information. Maybe they were members of the DWTS audience who caught Season 22 winner Nyle DiMarco helping his partner Peta clean morning sickness barf off the mirrorball trophy on their way out of the studio last night.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0h1Sof2pz0

I guess if Erin needs a silver lining, it’s that the only thing more embarrassing than accidentally blowing a pregnant lady’s cover would be if the cast and crew of DWTS heard her congratulating a lady who wasn’t even pregnant. Although that would have definitely made for some way more entertaining listening.

Here’s maybe-future-daddy Maksim making one of my nightmares come true by staging a flash mob at The Grove today.

Pics: ABC, Wenn.com

Leonardo DiCaprio, seen above trying his best to sneak out of a club incognito (sorry Leo, but that scraggly bro beard will always give you away), was out with a few ladies in New York last night. One of them was Leo’s current favorite party friend, Rihanna. The other was a blonde model (shocking, I know), but it wasn’t the blonde model named Ela Kawalec that he was supposedly doing as of last week, and it wasn’t the blonde named Roxy Horner that he was allegedly doing last month. It was actually a blast from Leo’s nut-busting past, Nina Agdal.

Nobody knows if it was on purpose or by accident that Leonardo was at the same club with RiRi and Nina. TMZ says they were all there at the same time, which means there’s a chance RiRi and Nina were the only ones who were kind enough to show up after receiving a mass text that said: “Yo, boo boos, who wants 2 get drunk with their Oscar-winning friend Leo!?” Then again, it could all be a coincidence that he was seen at the same club as Nina Agdal. Considering just how many model vaginas Leo’s penis has been inside, his chances of being at the same club as a model he’s already had sex with are probably pretty high.

I know people recently started to doubt Leo’s commitment to saving the earth after it was revealed that he had taken a private jet to accept an environmental award. But he’s obviously extremely dedicated to a green lifestyle since it appears that he might be recycling models. And I bet that if they were actually at the club together and she did end up back at his place, Leo would have sent her home the next morning in a zero-emissions rickshaw pulled by Lukas Haas. So there!

Here’s more of Leo, Nina, and RiRi leaving the club at different times last night. I wish I could tell you why Rihanna is wearing the contents of a yard sale put on by a grandmother and her grandson, but I don’t have an answer for that.

Pics: Splash