Amber Heard Wasn’t Deposed On Saturday (UPDATE)
Amber Heard and Johnny Depp’s difficult-to-schedule deposition finally happened on Saturday. Amber reportedly rolled in an hour and a half late, which I’m willing to give her a pass on. If the vintage boot was on the other foot, you know Johnny wouldn’t have shown up on time either. I can only imagine how long it takes for him to decide on which silver hobo pirate jewelry he’s going to wear 18lbs of each day. Well, we finally know what happened once Amber showed up. According to TMZ, nothing really happened. A meeting happened and nothing got done. And just like that, Johnny and Amber’s messy divorce drags on!
Lindsay Lohan Says That Her Fiancé Has Attacked Her More Than Once
On the current cover of Star Magazine is a picture of Lindsay Lohan’s come-to-life V for Vendetta mask of a fiancé Egor Tarabasov grabbing her arms during a fight on a beach in Mykonos. The picture came from a video that was taken by someone who watched LiLo and Egor fight in a Jeep before she threw his cellphone onto the sand and he twisted her arm while trying to pry it out of her hand. It was yet another messy situation in LiLo and Egor’s messy Lifetime movie of a relationship. Over the weekend, The Daily Mail published an interview they did with LiLo about that video and the night he allegedly choked her out in London. LiLo also says that her barbecued turtle turd of a father Michael Lohan uses her for press and attention. I know, you better freebase Xanax right away, because learning that Michael Lohan is a low-down dirty attention whore is just too much of a shock to your nerves on a Monday.
Martha Stewart And Snoop Dogg Are Doing “A Dinner Party Show” For VH1
Variety reports that my dreams have come true, because Snoop Dogg and his fancy lady friend Martha Stewart are doing a show together. VH1, a network that already won my heart ten times over with excellent reality TV programming such as Rock of Love and I Love Money, has ordered an unscripted series starring Martha and Snoop tentatively titled Martha & Snoop’s Dinner Party. The show will feature Martha and Snoop hosting dinner parties every week for a bunch of famous guests. Somewhere Khloe Kardashian is like “Hey guys, if you need any advice or tips on how to do that, feel free to gimme a call! I can talk any time! Schedule is totally open!”
Rob Kardashian Thinks “Rob & Chyna” Might Be Killing Their Relationship
When we last left the totally real reality show starring the most reluctant Kardashian fame whore Rob Kardashian and his knocked-up enthusiastic fame whore fiancé Blac Chyna, they were having “problems” during filming. Rob had erased all pictures, including ones of Chyna, from his Instagram. He also unfollowed her for a second. Rob’s decision to dramatically remove the humanoid vinyl toy from his social media life was apparently caused by a fight they had during the filming of Rob & Chyna. At the time, it was rumored that their fight was over some suspicious texts Rob found on Chyna’s phone and that they were breaking up. Now TMZ is saying that things have been rough between Rob and Chyna, but it might have more to do with the 20-person kamera krew following them around everywhere.
The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS For August 5th!
“You shoulda made that left turn in Albuquerque.” – OurMissC
Upvote winner:
“Welcome back, Ms. Heche.” – tim
Pic: Break
Hot Sluts Of The Day!
Butt & Fuchs, my favorite members of my new favorite Olympic men’s field hockey team!
We’re only a few days into the Olympics, but it has already given us a couple of beautiful gay gifts. First, it gave us the glistening sight of a topless Pita Taufatofua holding onto his hard pole while looking like he just took a shower in the locker room of the Scientology bath house. (Yes, lube comes out of the showers in the locker room at the Scientology bath house.) And on Saturday, it gave us another magical moment when two members of Germany’s men’s field hockey team, Linus Butt and Florian Fuchs, stood next to each other and spelled out the WiFi password in the Scientology’s bath house. I can hear you German speakers saying, “Err, ‘fuchs’ means ‘fox.‘” Shüt üp! Do not break the butt fuch-induced boner some of us got from that screen shot. Although, “butt fox” brings on the 6th grader giggles too.