Hot Slut Of The Day!
Paul Engemann, the musical voice of the 1984 Olympics!
For this Olympics, us Americans have to deal with NBC’s boring Olympic anthem “Rise” by Katy Perry, a song that sounds like it written for a Cirque du Soleil production but was eventually cut because it kept putting audience members to sleep. But back in the 80s, when EVERYTHING was better, one of the Olympic anthems was “Reach Out,” which came from the mind of Giorgio Moroder and was sung by Paul Engemann. The 1984 Olympics went down in Los Angeles, so one of the official anthems should’ve been a remix of my mom complaining and screaming about how much she hates the goddamn stupid dumb Olympics after spending 3 hours in traffic. But the Olympic people went with “Reach Out” instead.
Paul Engemann is now retired from the music game and does design stuff and sells “healthy” chocolate with his wife of over 30 years, actress Suzanne Barnes. But before that, Paul, who is also Larry King’s brother-in-law, was in Animotion for a second in the 80s and also made several songs with Giorgio Moroder. Paul is probably best known for singing Giorgio Moroder’s “Push It To The Limit” from Scarface.
“Reach Out” has the same vibe as “Push It To The Limit,” so that 80s disco perfection makes you wanna snort a line off of Sam the Olympic Eagle’s beak, run in place and throw a shot put.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmlZGBikjgU
Now THAT is an Olympic anthem. The only thing that video is missing is a shot of Tony Montana saying, “Say hello to my little friend,” while flashing the gold medal he got in coke snortin’.
Birthday Sluts
Charlize Theron (41)
Francesca Eastwood (23)
Helen Flanagan (26)
Rick Genest aka Zombie Boy (31)
Brit Marling (33)
Abbie Cornish (34)
Randy Wayne (35)
Charlotte Ronson (39)
Samantha Ronson (39)
Megan Gale (41)
Michael Shannon (42)
Chico Benymon (42)
Rachel York (45)
Sydney Penny (45)
David Mann (50)
Harold Perrineau (53)
David Duchovny (56)
Jacquie O’Sullivan (56)
Bruce Dickinson (58)
Wayne Knight (61)
Tobin Bell (74)
Garrison Keillor (74)
Caetano Veloso (74)
Pic: Seventeen
Open Post: Hosted By Cristiano Ronaldo Crisping Those Nipples
Living Slim Jim Cristiano Ronaldo is vacationing his ass in Miami and the sun is drawing UV Rays from HIM because that dude is TANNED. I’m not sure what that means because science is hard but he is BRONZED for the gods. He’s a sexy walking copper mine! Metallurgy is hard, too. Crispy hasn’t quite rolled his chariot into the George Hamilton/Tan Mom arena just yet but age might mess with his look down the road. He should watch out. Hot body with a tan works, burnt sienna wrinkles do not. Looking like one of Magda’s tits is still a scary look 18 years later. Ugh, I’m so old.
Please note that Cristiano is also trying to bring back Vamp. Good luck, Crispy!
Check out more snaps of a shirtless Cristiano Ronaldo in Miami in the gallery below.
Pics: Splash
Milo Ventimiglia Is Just Fine With 7.3 Million People Seeing His Bare Ass
You probably didn’t watch Heroes. I did, cuz’ I’m a certified level 10 nerd. Milo Ventimiglia played the main dude and, between seasons 1 and 2, he went from “hey, it’s cute Jess from Gilmore Girls” to “holy shit, Milo Ventilator is a BEEFY PIECE OF ASS.” Usually, the nerd shows play up the boobies, so it felt very progressive. Milo has a new show called This Is Us premiering Sept. 20 on NBC, and the trailer featuring his naked buttcheeks was viewed 7.3 million times. In an interview with E!, Peter Petrelli says that he is just fine with the thirst of so many centering on his ass, thank you.
Tara Reid Is Milking That Jenny McCarthy Fight For All It’s Worth
And it’s worth about $0.22 in real life. But, in Dlisted credits, it’s worth jillions cuz’ that was some hilarity straight from the ragged 90s. Tara Reid (seen below at the Sharknado: The 4th Awakens premiere in Las Vegas wearing an actual exploded shark) went on Hollywood Today Live (does anyone else find that title convoluted?) to promote the “film.” Screech owl host Ross Matthews and the chick Chelsea Handler terrifies asked her about the satellite radio catfight of the century! People transcribed it for us, but you can watch the video below.
Scott Eastwood’s People Weren’t Feeling The Taylor Swift Video
Scott Eastwood, son of the inspiration for “Old Man Yells At Cloud“, revealed to People that his agents advised him against appearing in Taylor Swift’s “Wildest Dreams” video from last year. Their exact words? “That vicious liar? If she tells you the time, you’d better find a clock anyway because LIES! Be sure you have Snapchat open so you can capture the receipts from that shifty-mouthed, side-walking Decepticon!”
In actuality, they were concerned about Scotty becoming visual arm candy for Tay Tay.
“None of my agents wanted me to do it, actually,” Eastwood revealed. “They said, ‘Oh, we don’t want you to do that! Why would you be Taylor Swift’s boy toy?’ And I said, ‘Why the hell not?'”
“Why the hell not? We’ll probably come to some sort of contractual dating agreement, and my name recognition will go sky high. I’m not wearing that tank top, though, because that’s way too #pussygeneration for me.”
Eastwood called the shoot a “fantastic experience.” It was probably a fantastic experience for his dad Clint Eastwood, too, because you know he tagged along to Botswana to shotgun as many endangered species as possible. Manly men used to be able to blow the heads off of creatures without all these whiny pussies getting upset.
You can watch the video below. Taylor was never in any danger of getting eaten by that lion because they don’t eat snakes.
Pic: Instagram