Hot Slut Of The Day!

By popular demand, Pita Taufatofua, the oiled-up flag-bearer from the Polynesian kingdom of Tonga who won gold medals in inducing coochie cream, inducing b-hole tingles and inducing hard nips when his oiled-up body made an appearance during the parade of athletes.

The Olympics opening ceremony (or if you watched on NBC, “NBC’s Commercials EXTRAVAGANZA featuring the Olympics opening ceremony“) last night, then you sat through hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of athletes walking in the parade while dressed like either a flight attendant, a bank teller or a Paula Poundstone impersonator. So after hours of that, a breath of hot, greasy air hit our eyeballs when Taekwondo Olympian Pita Taufatofua made many thirsty whores say, “I want Pita to stuff my pita.”

Pita came fully lubed-up and ready to rumble. That’s one way to deal with mosquitos. Those pesky bitches probably slipped right off. And when Pita strolled by the cameras, he threw a swoon-summoning cocky look. He’s like the hot Disney villain that you root for because he’s way hotter than the goody two-shoes ass prince. Gaston, who?

Pita, who also spreads his hotness on Instagram, doesn’t compete until August 19th, so that gives him plenty of time to make this Olympics 1,000 times more watchable by strutting his greased-up body in front of the cameras during every event. It’s not like Pita has to practice since he can easily destroy his opponent with a smile and a brow raise.

Pics: Getty (For everyone who dropped him into my inbox)