Cody Simpson was Miley Cyrus’ rebound of a rebound because she got with him after breaking up with Kaitlynn Carter, and she got with Kaitlynn Carter after breaking up with her man of almost ten years (and the one she lost her virginity to) Liam Hemsworth. So honestly, many probably thought Cody and Miley wouldn’t even last 10 seconds but they beat the odds by lasting 10 months! And now the Kidz Bop Billy Idol and the Kidz Bop Wendy O. Williams are over. My thoughts are with the assistants who will have the inevitable job of scrubbing Miley and Cody’s Instagram pages of pictures of each other because these two were prolific in sharing their everlasting, errr, I mean 10-month love with us.

And Miley is celebrating her new singlehood with an 80s disco ode to letting her coochie run free!

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The drone-destroying bald eagle!

With drones being used more and more these days, they’re taking up prime flying space in the skies, but the eagles of the world are fighting back. The Steve Miller Band doesn’t have to worry about changing their song Fly Like An Eagle to Fly Like A Drone because in the war between eagles and drones, the eagles have won a battle thanks to one eagle taking down a drone over Lake Michigan. The picture above is not of the eagle who fucked up a drone, but I’m sure the eagle in that picture would use its wings to slow clap for the hero eagle who fought against technology.

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Meanwhile in Los Angeles, Steve-O risked getting a face full of bird shit by duct-taping his almost naked body (he was wearing chonies) to a billboard to promote his comedy special and he was later taken down by the fire department after saying it was important for him to not waste city resources on this stunt. I was also going to ask if paramedics were there to revive his passed-out nipples after that duct tape was pulled off but I’m sure his nipples died two thousand stunts ago   – CBS Los Angeles

As Instagram trickled out a sad tear of loneliness since it used to be the IT place for celebrities to announce their pregnancies, Chrissy Teigen revealed in a music video that she’s pregnant with her and John Legend’s third kid – People

Matt Damon brought his surfer chichis out in Malibu – Lainey Gossip 

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Two of the only fashion influencers in the game who matter are now our reigning Hot Sluts of the Month! I’m sure they’ll mention this illustrious title when American Vogue devotes an entire issue to them. Please, like Anna Wintour is that fashion-forward. Besides, they don’t have Kardashian, Hadid, or Jenner anywhere in their names so Anna doesn’t want anything to do with them. Her loss!

Hsu Sho-er and Chang Wan-ji are the dynamic husband and wife fashion duo who have gained hundreds of thousands of Instagram followers thanks to the next-level looks they serve up using the forgotten clothes that customers of their laundromat in Tawain have left behind. And they are HSOTM winners thanks to getting 65% of your votes. Behind them are the shit-stirring emus Carol and Kevin (20%), the UPDATES graphic from Unsolved Mysteries (10%), and the hungriest black hole in the universe (5%).

Hsu Sho-er and Chang Wan-ji are now our seventh HSOTM of 2020 and will battle it out for the Hot Slut of the Year title next year. Until then, they will continue to destroy hos with their devastating ensembles, like the looks above that prove they are only ones who can pull off a baby diarrhea-colored skirt and pedal-pushing baggy jorts.

Thanks to all who voted!

Pic: Instagram

Most movie theaters have been closed since March since they are COVID-19 playgrounds, but even though shit is still serious when it comes to coronavirus, AMC will begin reopening theaters in the U.S. on August 20. And in an attempt to drive our case numbers deeper into the millions, they are offering incredible deals like charging only 15 cents for tickets on its re-opening day. So you can either stay at home and watch Black Panther bareback-style (AKA without a mask) on Disney+ or you can pay 15 cents to watch it at a movie theater while putting a popcorn kernel in your mouth every 5 seconds to make sure you can still taste.

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