Carol and Kevin, the bad bitches of Yaraka!
So, two sibling messes have been banned from a tiny town in Australia because they are constantly causing a scene by shitting on the floor and stealing food. I know you’re probably thinking to yourself, “Those Paul brothers are it again.” But please, those flaming douche rashes wish they had it like Carol and Kevin. Carol and Kevin are the talk of the town, and yes, the town is smaller than an emu’s brain (I don’t mean that Carol and Kevin!), but still. When they step into town, Bad Reputation plays because they got a major one and they don’t give a damn about it.
10News First Queensland says that the town of Yaraka in Queensland has a population of 12 humans and all 12 of those humans have had it with Carol and Kevin. Carol and Kevin are brother and sister emus who were raised by an animal rescuer, and they were are all rainbow kisses and sweet cherry farts until they learned how to conquer the stairs. Because when they learned how to climb stairs, they could get into the pub of the Yaraka Hotel where they messed with customers by snatching french toast off of plates and getting behind the bar. They also can’t hold their caca and shit all over the place.
So because mostly everybody doesn’t want to inhale emu turds while enjoying some french toast, they have been banned. Signs have been put up and there’s a rope at the stairs so they can’t get in. via The Guardian
Gerry Gimblett, who owns the Yaraka Hotel with her husband Chris, told Guardian Australia they were left with no other option after the birds’ recent “bad behaviour”.
“They’ve been stealing things from the guests, especially their food. They’d stick their heads in and pinch toast out of the toaster,” Gimblett explained.
“But the main reason we’ve banned them is their droppings. They’re enormous, very large and very smelly, and they created great stains,” she said.
Gerry and Chris say that they still love Carol and Kevin and love that the emus are a part of the town but they’re just not allowed inside their pub anymore. I feel Carol and Kevin’s pain. I mean, shit happens and sometimes it happens in a bar, literally, is that any reason to kick me out. Huh, TGI Fridays in Northridge?!
And well, Carol and Kevin aren’t going to let this slide. Why do I have a feeling that in the not-so-distant future, we’re going to hear how Yaraka now has a population of zero humans and two emus and those two emus rule the Yaraka Hotel!