Who Is July’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

August 5, 2020 / Posted by:

The theme for July’s Hot Slut of the Month showdown is: BADASSES. Because in the mix for July’s HSOTM crown are the badass emus who caused a commotion in a small Australian town, the badass memaw and pepaw who destroyed the fashion industry with their devastating looks, the badass “UPDATES” graphic that dramatically let us know that an Unsolved Mystery may have been solved, and the badass black hole who will gobble up anything in its path.

The first three HSOTM finalists got the most Facebook likes for the month, and the fourth one was picked by me. Your choices for July are:

Carol and Kevin, the party emus of the Australian town of Yaraka who got banned from a restaurant after they shit all over the place, stole french toast from customers, and got behind the bar. Screw those Vanderpump Rules bores, Carol and Kevin need their own Bravo reality show.

Hsu Sho-er and Chang Wan-ji, the laundromat owners who have made Taiwan the new epicenter of high fashion by posing for their lives on Instagram in ensembles put together using clothes left behind by customers. And well, if those customers ever want their clothes back, they’re going to have to pay couture prices since they’ve been on the bodies of these supermodels.

The “UPDATES” graphic, the extremely important graphic that hit your eyes during an episode of Unsolved Mysteries to let you know that there was an important update in one of their past stories and sometimes of those important updates led to an Unsolved Mystery becoming a SOLVED Mystery. So basically that graphic was the face of justice back in the day.

J2157, the envy of every power bottom in the world because it holds the title of the hungriest black hole in the universe since it devours everything.

Voting is below. The winner will be announced next Wednesday, August 12!

Pics: Instagram, Instagram, NBC, NASA

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