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Grimes Has An Instagram Account For Her Fetus
Canadian cyborg Grimes is pregnant with Elon Musk’s techno-organic spawn, and she’s been posting pics of herself all aglow with the bearing of what is probably the AI that will wipe us all out. In fact, Grimes is so in love with being knocked up that she’s even started an Instagram account for her fetus. Now you can follow along with the birth of the singularity!
Disney Will Continue To Defy The Meaning Of “Live-Action” With A “Live-Action” Bambi
Because Disney is obviously behind on a couple of mortgage payments and in desperate need of $$$, they’re continuing to take all of their animated properties and transform them into “live-action” films. Their next one? Bambi! Now the next-gen of little kids can watch Bambi’s mom…SPOILER ALERT…buy it in live-action! As if it wasn’t traumatizing enough in animation. Also, there is very little live-action about these movies. That deer will be Adobe, trust.
Open Post: Hosted By This Guy Running Over An Entire Roll Of Bubble Wrap With His Jeep
Mashable brought us this dude in a Jeep running over an entire roll of bubble wrap. I know this probably doesn’t qualify as an ASMR vid, but this has gotta spark the same sort of neuron massage feeling when you do something like this.
Paris Hilton Says She’s Been Playing A Character Until Now
And the Oscar goes to…Paris Hilton! Defrocked celebutante high priestess and expert lasagna maker Paris Hilton is all about simple outfits and library books and helping the needy but we never knew this because she’s been playing the character of a spoiled, entitled, vapid party tramp heiress for almost 40 years. It was just a big acting job! At least that’s what she’s claiming in the upcoming documentary This Is Paris, according to Deadline. Meryl Streep just hung up all of her accents because Paris is obviously the GOAT when it comes to acting.
Rihanna Was Seen Hanging Out With A$AP Rocky After Splitting From Hassan Jameel
Rihanna recently split with her billionaire boyfriend of nearly three years, Hassan Jameel, and now it appears as though she’s already moved on with American ambassador to Sweden shoo-in A$AP Rocky. And somewhere, Drake is crying oceans of tears into his latest ugly sweater.
Prince Harry And Meghan Markle’s Sussexodus Has An Expiration Date
Yesterday’s historic announcement from Queen Elizabeth II proclaiming her grandson Prince Harry’s and Meghan Markle’s, official escape from royal life neglected to include a very important detail. She’s only giving them a year! People reports that this is going to be a sort of trial run and they all gotta get together in a year at Buckingham Palace to see if it’s working for everyone. Well, no one’s calling for his royal beheading anymore for being an alleged Jeffrey Epstein-bestie and pedophile, so it’s definitely working for the Queen’s favorite church-going son Prince Andrew.