Night Crumbs

January 8, 2020 / Posted by:

Grimes, who is 31 (that’s 9.5 trillion in star nymph years) used a nipples-out pic of herself to announce that she’s “knocked up” with the alien robot baby of 48-year-old (that’s 0 in overlord robot years) billionaire Elon Musk. Your dog may be trying to paw its ears off and that’s probably because Elon’s five sons are letting out a high-pitched scream over having to split their inheritance. And when one of Grimes’ followers praised her for getting pregnant with an always-full bitcoin machine, she checked them and let them know she’s got her own money. Uh huh, well, if she wants to double her money, she should put it all on her baby’s first words being “WHAT THE FUCK!” because that’s what the kid is going to spit out after learning that their mom and dad named them ✨µå®ß ✨ƒåˆ®¥✨ or whatever the coordinates of Mars is at the time of their birth  – Just Jared

Colin Firth and his estranged wife Livia Firth posed together at an event, and things seem okay, because he wasn’t standing next to her while wearing a t-shirt that read I’m No Longer With The Cheater and had an arrow pointing to her. So that’s a good sign for them – Lainey Gossip 

Okay, but Heidi Klum and the non-glamorous Tokio Hotel twin may want to stay away from renewing their vows every year…. – Celebitchy

Justin Bieber spit at all of us who joked about his looks and bratty asshole ways by saying he’s got Lyme disease and chronic Mono. And you can learn about it all in his new docu-series! Yolanda Hadid, who?! – The Fader

Prepare yourself for a chorus of dancing stolen credit cards, because Hustlers: The Musical may be coming to Broadway – Pajiba

Also prepare yourself for a chorus of dancing leopard blazers, because The Nanny: The Musical may be coming to Broadway – Playbill

And ABC should be preparing for the sound of a belting FLOP because this has all the makings of that – SOW

Zoe Kravitz mastered the “hiding my nipples with my knees and arms” pose in Elle – Drunken Stepfather

Audrina Patridge is serving “1980s Las Vegas stripper going to a Harley convention” elegance – Popoholic

The trolls chased Lizzo off of Twitter – The Blemish

Pic: Instagram

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