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Open Post: Hosted By California’s New Red Wine River
Snorkeling has never appealed to me and neither has drowning but when the body of liquid in question is 97,000 gallons of red wine – why not die for what you love? CNN reports that, due to a sprung leak at the Rodney Strong vineyards in Sonoma County, California on Wednesday, 97,112 gallons of wine spilled into the nearby Russian River! CANNONBALL!
Taylor Swift Won’t Be Performing At The Grammys Tonight
For the first time in ages, this year’s Grammys might actually be sort of interesting. It has nothing to do with the actual awards or the performances or whether host Alicia Keys will continue to represent true courage and go sans fards again this year. The behind-the-scenes drama resulting from former Grammys head honcho Deborah Dugan’s ouster and subsequent burning of every bridge possible on her way out is the real story! One of the more intriguing claims Dugan has made, by the way, is that the “Song of the Year” category is fixed. Coincidentally, Taylor Swift’s up for “Song of the Year.” Even more coincidentally, she’s pulled out of performing at the show tonight.
Nicki Minaj And Her Husband Kenneth “Zoo” Petty Got Into A Public Screaming Match With Her Ex Meek Mill
Imagine you’re at some fancy department store in West Hollywood, trying to shoplift overpriced apparel to stick it to the man, and three people start screaming and cursing at each other over by the cologne. What do you? If you answered “use it as cover to steal more shit,” you’re right! And industrious! I kid! Nicki Minaj and her shady husband Kenneth “Zoo” Petty got into a screaming match with Nicki’s ex Meek Mill in a West Hollywood store yesterday.
Channing Tatum Angrily Defended Girlfriend Jessie J And Her “Infinite And Untouchable Beauty”
Back-togethers Channing Tatum, 39, and Jessie J, 31, are deep in their re-kindled love for each other. We know this because Channing is making sweet, sweet love to Jessie on social media – most recently in an Instagram post referring to her as a “unicorn.” A unicorn is supposed to be a rare, singular, mythological creature. One commentator felt that Jessie’s the farthest thing from a unicorn by commenting that Channing was better off with Jessie’s supposed lookalike, his ex-wife Jenna Dewan. Consider Channing’s muscular titties uncalmed.
Open Post: Hosted By A Sasquatch Sighting!
Nothing’s more entertaining than watching dudes on night vision traipsing through the wilderness on one of your lesser cable networks, trying to catch a glimpse of the elusive Sasquatach/Bigfoot/Yeti/Abominable This-Shit-Is-Fake-Man, what have you. And not since the infamous Paterson-Gimlin film have we had such a clear picture of Sasquatch! I’m kidding – that’s some dude in snowsuit taking a shortcut? Does Bigfoot wear a hoodie? Thoughts?
Ewan McGregor And Chris Messina Think Their “Birds of Prey” Characters Are Probably Gay
If you’re a queer person who feels like they weren’t sufficiently pandered to this week, have we got the interview for you! Ewan McGregor and that sexy dancer Chris Messina play the villains in the upcoming Harley Quinn flick, Birds of Prey, and they’ve seen fit to tease and tantalize us with the insider knowledge that their characters are probably gay and in love. Seeing as this isn’t a very special episode of L.A. Law in 1991, allow me to type some ZZZZZZZZZZZ.