Things are going to be a little awkward at happy hour tonight at the Church of Scientology because of all the snickering and giggles emanating up from the he-man-woman-hater basement steam room. We all know John Travolta, Kelly Preston, and Kirstie Alley spend their time swapping wig and hair tips, errr, reading L. Ron Hubbard books and scribbling “Leah Remini is a fug be-yotch” in their trapper keepers. Well, Kirstie spent the better part of the 80s apparently also writing “Mrs. Kirstie Travolta” in hers. Kirstie has long talked about her crotch Thetans getting hot over John Travolta and now she’s saying the “hardest decision” she ever made was not sleeping with John. The Celebrity Centre Bath House is steaming with LAUGHS today.
Kirstie Alley cleared the phlegm out of her throat long enough to regale her Celebrity Big Brother UK housemates with tales of her deep and abiding love for fellow #thot4thetan John Travolta. This is not the first time Kirstie has proclaimed that John was the love of her life, she was singing the same song back in 2012. Alas, it seems they were always destined to just be two Galactic Confederacy spaceships passing in the night.
If you ever watched all three seasons of Growing Up Gotti on A&E, you’ll remember Victoria Gotti pretending to be some kind of Miranda Priestly of Star Magazine while her three sons tried to be singers or princes of Long Island or whatever. It was canceled after the third season, but after last weekend’s box office results, it’s clear people would way rather see Victoria’s staged reality show than watch Kelly Preston and John Travolta sully the good Gotti name with their hairpieces, faux gaudy jewelry, and sneers! And it flopped without any help from Lindsay Lohan. Continue reading
I, and presumably most people with a set of eyes, have always figured Kelly Preston has been recovering from acting ever since was robbed of an Oscar for her portrayal of a Nevada flight attendant opposite pre-GOOP Gwyneth Paltrow in View From The Top. Instead, she’s mainly just content being a mom and sitting on her throne at the Scientology bathhouse while husband John Travolta belts out show tunes and gets massages (many, many massages). Seems like the textbook definition of a happy, denial-filled marriage to me! But a new report now claims Kelly is Xenu Don Corleone in the Travolta household, and John’s too afraid to cross her, so that’s why he’s still in the church! Continue reading
John Travolta and his deep fried platypus lace front may live on another planet (a planet where it’s perfectly okay for your paws to wander to the crotch of a massage therapist without permission, allegedly), but he is an actor in Hollywood and he is currently at Cannes where there’s been a lot of talk about #MeToo. But the pesky details of #MeToo haven’t made it into Johnny’s ears, because he’s a citizen of the globe with a global viewpoint. Xenu, say what, girl?
My weird obsession/revolution with the Cannes International Film Festival continues and these videos of John Travolta in a tux dancing to, and with, 50 Cent at the Gotti premiere after party are not helping matters! The Gotti gang’s in Cannes with the beleaguered movie, directed by E from Entourage (I refuse to call him by his born name Kevin Connolly). Pitbull did the musical score so I’m not sure how Fiddy plays into all this. According to Variety he was at Cannes to pitch his own movie, taking time out of his busy schedule defending R. Kelly on Twitter.