Actually, to correctly quote Us Weekly’s cover story, notable Scientologists like Tom Cruise, John Travolta, and Kirstie Alley are allegedly TRAPPED FOR LIFE!!!!! But, of course, they’re not being held hostage since we’re talking about the rich and famous-ish Scientologists – standard Scientology rules don’t apply. According to a source, they’re not exactly free either. Apparently Scientology is a lot like The Eagles’ Hotel California; you can check-in, but you can never leave.
Many notable famous people have successfully cut ties with Scientology, like Leah Remini, Beck, Lisa Marie Presley, Jason Lee, and Paul Haggis. But the big three – Tom, John, and Kirstie – remain proud card-carrying members. On the surface, all three appear to be pretty secure in their positions at the top of Scientology’s wild celebrity pyramid, falling just underneath the ultimate rank of Scientology’s supreme leader David Miscavige. But while they may seem comfortable being David’s human footrests (or whatever happens there, I don’t want to know), they can’t really ignore Scientology’s bad publicity. And by bad publicity, I mean all the horrific stories, allegations, Emmy-winning docuseries, and first-hand accounts of the awful stuff that allegedly happens in L. Ron Hubbard’s name. No matter how bad things get, Tom and Co. won’t say word one.
“Of course, these famous names are well aware of the scrutiny and scandals around them,” a source says exclusively in the new issue of Us Weekly. “But they basically have to sit back in silence.”
Surprise, surprise – the reason they won’t ever speak up is because they’re all afraid of David Miscavige. A source once claimed that all David has to do is snap his fingers and people get punished, with some of the punishments allegedly being carried out by Tom Cruise himself. And I guess they’re all afraid of what will happen to them if David flips into revenge mode.
“David’s word is all powerful,” the source tells Us. “And the risk of speaking out is too great.”
Oh, but if you ask Scientology about all of this, they will of course deny it all.
Through it all, the church has stood by its practices. In a statement to Us, a spokesperson denied the source’s “ludicrous” claims.
So according to Scientology, no one is afraid to speak out, and everything is a-ok back at Scientology headquarters in Outer Space, and no one is getting punished by David for speaking out or leaving or going against the church. Sure, sounds exactly like Scientology! But the timing of this is just a little bit suspicious. According to Leah Remini, Tom Cruise is Scientology’s Jesus, and he’ll never leave. In fact, she thinks he’ll one day try to recruit his allegedly rarely-seen daughter Suri Cruise. Kirstie Alley appears to be having way too much fun as Scientology’s resident social media troll to switch careers.
So that leaves John. A few years ago, it was rumored that John was only as dedicated to Scientology as he was, because his wife, Kelly Preston, was majorly into it. Kelly Preston sadly passed away in July from breast cancer. Not long after, The Daily Mail suspected that John might be thinking of inching away from Scientology, as he profusely thanked Kelly’s cancer doctors and medical staff in his statement about her death (L. Ron was allegedly against chemotherapy and radiation). Of course, there has been plenty of speculation that John might be scared any auditing session secrets might be used against him if he walks. Hmmm…almost as though David might use John’s past to expose and punish him. Okay. But what could David tell us that we don’t already know? We know about the massage therapists. We know about the fake hair. David, please. No public humiliation could be worse for John than when Harvey Fierstein implied that his Edna in Hairspray was trash (you know John poured his heart and soul into that wig).
Pic: Us Weekly