Brad Pitt’s got a movie to sell, Netflix’s War Machine, which would explain why he’s suddenly back from his post-split hiatus. Last night, Brad made an appearance on Late Night with Stephen Colbert during the reoccurring segment Big Questions With Even Bigger Stars. Brad and Stephen Colbert laid out on a blanket and asked each other deep questions. Surprisingly, one of the questions Stephen asked wasn’t: “What’s that smell? It’s like a dirty shirt took a nap inside a beard sprinkled with nutritional yeast.” Instead it was more like the conversation that would happen after two bros watched Cosmos for the first time.
I bet most famous people would beg their agents not to let anyone film them at such an unflattering angle. But not Brad. Brad was into it, and I’m sure he didn’t leave after they cut to commercial. Plugging movies can be so exhausting. I wouldn’t be surprised if he grabbed the corner of that blanket, rolled into a flannel burrito, and asked “Is it cool if I catch a quick nap here? This fake grass is hella comfy.”
Here’s Brad Pitt arriving at the Late Show in New York yesterday. It’s not know where he was coming from, but based on that outfit, I’d guess he just came from yelling at kids to get off his dang lawn.
Earlier this month, Brad Pitt opened up to GQ Style about his new life as a sober single dad and his initially messy custody battle with Angelina Jolie. Brad was so thorough, publishers could have taken that interview, bound it in book form, and attached a cover that read Brad Pitt’s Current Life for Dummies. There must have been some people who were in a deep coma when his GQ interview was released, because the Associated Press talked to Brad about his upcoming Netflix movie War Machine and he talked about being a changed man again.
Brad Pitt let it be known during his interview with GQ Style that he’s turned a corner in his life, and he’s done with booze and is about his feelings now. Brad talked a lot about how he’s playing nice with Angelina Jolie for the sake of their six kids. He’s gone from being the human version of a slamming screen door to the sound of sea shell wind chimes. There’s another reminder that he and Angie have stopped dragging each other for now.
E! News says that Brad told Angelina about his GQ Style interview before it was published. A source claims Brad is “committed to having a healthy relationship with her” and didn’t want there to be any surprises. The source adds that Brad and Angelina are continuing to “co-parent successfully.”
It’s not known exactly how Brad gave Angelina a heads up about his interview, so it’s all up for speculation at this point. Maybe he called her. Maybe he pinned a note to one of the kids during their weekly hand-off that said “Yo, gonna be in a magazine – Big B.” Whatever happened, it seems like long gone are the days in which this story would include a quote from a source claiming that Brad purposely hid his interview from Angelina because he gets his jollies from picturing her cheekbones vibrate with rage.
When St Angie Jolie said words about the fall of Brangelina in Cambodia in February, she kept it pretty short and let us know that her most private thoughts are still locked in her bulging forehead vein of protection. It’s now Brad Pitt’s turn to say words about everything that’s happened and the human form of Rodin’s The Thinker really spilled out all of his thoughts.
To promote his new movie War Machine for Netflix, Brad did a photo shoot for GQ Style at “America’s Greatest National Parks,” the Everglades, White Sands and Carlsbad Caverns. All of the pictures are here and they look like pictures that an art student would take if they were really inspired by Terrence Malick and wanted to artistically show all the stages of sadness. (In the pictures, Brad Pitt also looks like a fetus who just watched all of Terrence Malick’s movies in a row while totally sober.) They are that emotionally raw. And during the interview, Brad talks about breaking up with Angie, quitting boozing, making HIGH ART, and his kids. My favorite Jolie-Pitt, Jacques Jolie-Pitt, was hanging out during Brad’s interview so I’m sure that many shady bulldog side-eyes were thrown.
What someone should ask Sienna is if that alien lobster tail on her head is sillier than the rumor that she got flirty with Brad.
Earlier this week, I repeated a rumor from Page Six about how Sienna Miller and Brad Pitt flirted with each other at a dinner after the Hollywood premiere of The Lost City of Z, which she’s in and he executive produced. Hearing that Sienna and Brad did the pre-fuck time ceremony together (aka flirting) is like hearing that a Kartrashian bared her naked oiled-up ass on Instagram. You don’t even bother shrugging because it’s something that it’s inevitable and you don’t want to strain your shoulders. But Sienna isn’t amused.
It took long enough, but someone finally matched up the former Homewrecker Queen of Hollywood Sienna Miller and noted cheating tramp slut Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt is an executive producer on The Lost City of Z and Sienna Miller’s in that shit. The movie had its Hollywood premiere last week, and Page Six says that at a dinner afterward, Sienna and Brad were “seriously flirting.” If Sienna was “seriously flirting” with Brad while he was dressed like this, she was either drunker than me after doing my taxes or she really gets the down-low tingles for pepaw clothes.