Category: Brad Pitt

Angelina Jolie Wants Hardcore Therapy For Her Kids

December 8, 2016 / Posted by:

Brad Pitt’s legal team asked the judge in his child custody war with St. Angie Jolie to seal the details of their fight and stick them in a place that nobody would dare to look (under a By The Sea DVD). Yesterday, the judge turned down Brad’s request and today, someone hit him with a, “Ha ha, bitch you tried,” by leaking some more information about their custody situation.

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Brad Pitt Wants To Have The Brangelina Custody Documents Sealed

December 7, 2016 / Posted by:

I’m neither Brad Pitt, Brad Pitt’s lawyer, or one of his many children, but I know a lot about his custody battle with his soon-to-be ex-wife Angelina Jolie. Every day, there’s a new story about who has the kids or where the kids are moving or how many supervised visits Brad gets. Well, Brad really wanted it so that none of us will know anything about his custody battle in the future. Bad news for him, a judge doesn’t agree.

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St. Angie Jolie Is Reportedly Still Trying To Move The Child Army To London

December 6, 2016 / Posted by:

Entertainment Tonight reported yesterday that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s temporary custody agreement was approved by a judge last Friday. As we know, both sides agreed that she gets full physical custody of their six kids for now and he gets to visit. ET adds that child custody psychologist Ian Russ will decide when and how often Brad gets to visit and the visits will be monitored by a therapist. The entire family, including St. Angie and Brad, will continue to get therapy. This agreement is just temporary and Brad is still trying to get joint custody, which TMZ says is fucking with Angie’s ultimate goal to take a full-time gig with United Nations in London. In a few months when we’re all breathing in apocalypse dust while sitting on a pile of rubble, we’re going to say, “Thanks, Brad,” because if he just gave St. Angie full custody, she could’ve moved to London and SAVED THE WORLD!

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Chelsea Handler Is Still Poking At Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie

November 18, 2016 / Posted by:

Last night, Chelsea Handler attended an event called Gala for the Children, which sounds like the pretentious way Gwyneth Paltrow would describe a kid’s birthday party but is actually a charity event. Chelsea was there to introduce her friend, celebrity divorce lawyer Laura Wasser. Laura was being recognized for her charity work with children, and Chelsea was there because she’s had Laura on her show a couple times. Laura also just so happens to be representing  “fucking lunatic” (copyright: Chelsea Handler) Angelina Jolie in her divorce from Brad Pitt. You already know where this is going.

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Billy Bob Thornton Would Love To Do A Movie With Brad Pitt

November 16, 2016 / Posted by:

Sexy human cigarette (don’t judge me) Billy Bob Thornton recently reminded everyone that he’s still friendly with Angelina Jolie. He also moistened her ego a bit by saying he never felt “good enough” for her because she was such a saint. I figured that was Billy Bob’s way of dropping hints that he’s on Team Angelina in the dramatic divorce to end all dramatic celebrity divorces. But it sounds like that’s not the case at all.

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