Category: Yeah Okay
Well, At Least We Got A Chorus Of Dancing Jockstrap Faces
“Can’t Feel My Face” isn’t only just one of The Weeknd’s cokey anthems, it was also what some people said last night after their face and everything else went numb and fell asleep over the Super Bowl LV Halftime Show. It was presented by Pepsi (and yes, the entire internet made the same “sponsored by Pepsi but all the songs about coke” joke), but it really should’ve been presented by Vivarin and Dramamine, because when The Weeknd (government name: Abel Tesfaye) wasn’t crooning us into an open-eyed coma, he was giving us the dizzies! Oh, it also should’ve been sponsored by Aspirin because many oldies probably chewed on several Aspirin pills to avoid having a heart attack over the misspelling of “Weekend“!!!
Aunt Becky Is Out Of The Clink After Serving Nearly Two Months
If you live around Dublin, CA, you probably woke up this morning to the sound of Survivor by Destiny’s Child blasting loudly, and oh, it was just Lori Loughlin strutting out of prison after surviving almost two hard months of not cleaning her delicate ass on a bidet and sleeping on sheets less than a 1000 thread count. My thoughts and prayers are with the housekeepers at Lori’s downgraded mansion because they probably have to witness the sight of her slobbering on her luxurious bedsheets and lovingly humping on her bidet after being reunited with them.
TMZ says that Lori was released from Federal Correctional Institution, Dublin (FCI Dublin) this morning, and I’m sure she was expecting a mob of paparazzi welcoming her back into the spotlight. But sorry, Aunt Becky, we’re all busy with dragging a different insufferable rich white woman of privilege who faked shit.
Matthew McConaughey And Russell Brand Think The Hollywood Left Has Been Arrogant About The 2020 Election Results
I guess that answers the question: “What party do we think Matthew McConaughey will register as when he inevitably runs for Governor of Texas.”
Matthew McConaughey is still promoting his book, Greenlights, and to keep with the color theme, he got into a debate of red vs. blue with Russell on Russell’s podcast, Under the Skin. Specifically, the 2020 American Presidential Election. A whole lot of people are celebrating the fact that Donald Trump will be out of the White House soon, but please – Russell and Matthew beg you to stop celebrating Joe Biden’s win! Because it’s so mean to the red hat crowd.
Tara Reid Isn’t Quite Sure Who Pitched Nicole Kidman A Role In Her New Movie
I’m not quite sure who made eight spicy, delicious ginger cookies disappear from my kitchen yesterday (I’m totally lying), but I do know I didn’t offer them to anyone else because gluttony and greed. In a bizarre twist that sounds like a scene right out of the movie in question, Masha’s Mushroom, Tara Reid claims that the offer made to Nicole Kidman via a comment on Nicole’s Instagram this past week, may or may not have been her own. According to Page Six, there is some head-scratching taking place:
Montana Yao Files For Divorce From Malik Beasley After He Got Caught With Larsa Pippen
Well, there’s unsurprising development in the cheating saga that has made many of us say, “Will an A-list, or B-list, or even C-list celebrity pull some foolery so we aren’t left with the drama of a rejected Kardashian?!”
There was a rumor that 23-year-old Instagram model Montana Yao (left) had started talking to divorce lawyers after her eyes got a giant serving of paparazzi pictures of her NBA player husband, 24-year-old Malik Beasley, holding hands with 46-year-old Larsa Pippen who is an ex-Real Housewive of Miami, estranged wife of Scottie Pippen, enemy of the Kartrashians, and all-around fame whore. And according to E! News, Montana did more than just talk to lawyers, she went ahead and filed papers to legally quit that bitch.
Jennifer Lopez Says She’s Never Used Botox Because She’s “Not That Person”
Jennifer Lopez, who is rich and famous with wealthy person skin thanks to expensive dermatologists and top-of-the-line skincare technology, is the latest celebrity to release a beauty line meant to have us thinking if we use it we’ll look like Jennifer Lopez. Sweetie, the only way I could look like Jennifer Lopez would be if I died and came back to life as Jennifer Lopez. And while promoting her new skincare line, Jenny From The Block let us know that she’s the anti-Nicole Kidman since she’s never had Botox and never will, because she’s “not that person.” But if you are looking for that person, her name is Samantha Barbash.