Open Post: Hosted By Countertop Spaghetti
Yesterday Prego spaghetti sauce was trending for absolutely disgusting reasons. And it’s all thanks to Lisa from the Josh and Lisa Facebook page. Lady clearly wants a piece of that sweet, sweet viral family fame, but she doesn’t wanna go so far as to euthanize dogs or return adopted children. After all, she’s not a monster! Or… is she? Cuz Lisa made the chaotic/wasteful decision to film herself constructing a spaghetti feast directly on top of her counter. She says countertop pasta is the “easiest way to make spaghetti for a crowd” (NO), because you don’t have to worry about dishes (UMMM) or a mess (WHAT?!?!).
Here’s a rundown: Lisa begins by pouring a bunch of (cold) Prego tomato sauce on her countertop. Step two is adding handfuls of meatballs, step three is sprinkling on parmesan. Then this culinary creator of chaos scoops scalding spaghetti out of the pot with her bare hands and uses wooden spoons to mix that shit up. This is when the camera person asks Dumb Lisa where she got this heinous idea. No, it wasn’t PornHub’s “Messy Mommies” category. Lisa claims that she’s Italian, and “real Italians, this is how you make spaghetti.” The camera person comments, “Oh! I didn’t know that.” Because it’s not true, camera person. It’s viral lies!
But it’s not over yet. Once the bacteria-laden mess has been swirled into goop, Lisa adds chopped-up romaine lettuce to the side and pours salad dressing on top (Kraft Italian, but of course). She finishes her food felony by laying uncooked bread along the borders. What gives her the right?
Here’s the video, if you can stomach the food mess and Lisa’s desperation:
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=276088210828074
People obviously went off on Twitter, but it looks like Lisa (or Josh) reported them for copyright infringement. It’s their narrative to control, thankyouverymuch:
Nope, not taking the extremely obvious bait. These people know they are wrong. https://t.co/utpPt0ngy0
— Robyn Pennacchia (@RobynElyse) May 11, 2021
The Josh and Lisa Facebook page is full of stupid, badly acted shit like this. The messiest, grossest videos have the most views, so that Twitterer is likely correct: Lisa knows she’s wrong. In another vid, she makes countertop nachos, and in another, she stacks raw chicken breasts onto a paper towel holder.
For some reason, the thing that’s really sticking with me is the cold Prego. You can’t just add cold Prego to hot spaghetti. Plus the untoasted baguette? Ugh! You know what? I’m starting to question if Lisa, last name unknown, is even Italian…
Pics: Facebook