Category: THE QUEEN
The Palace Is Reportedly Nervous About The Upcoming Season Of “The Crown”
The season five premiere of Netflix’s The Crown is lurking just around the corner (November 9) ready to pop out and scream “OOGITY BOOGITY” at Britain’s new King Charles III which is just wrong given his age and general condition. He can barely tolerate holding a leaky fountain pen without screaming like a little bitch, so imagine what it’s going to be like for him to turn on the telly and see Dominic West’s weathered mug reminding the world that despite the fancy gold hat, he’s just a dude who got caught cheating on his wife. According to Salon, The Firm is nervous that The Crown will be focused on the interviews Charles and Princess Diana gave during that time, instead of on THE QUEEN who most likely spent the greater part of the 1980s and 90s tinkering with THE QUEEN-BOT she sent out to smile and wave while she hid out in the stables waiting for it all blow over.
Open Post: Hosted By The UK Network That Aired “The Emoji Movie” Instead Of THE QUEEN’S Funeral
The passing of Queen Elizabeth II has been heavily covered by news outlets all over the world. The sad reality is that England will not see another queen for the next few generations, so her death truly marks the end of an era. So it would stand to reason that on the day of her funeral every channel in the UK would honor her by televising the event. This is where UK’s Channel 5 decided to abdicate from protocol by not only refusing to air the service, but instead showing a bunch of children’s films to entertain all of the kids who were off during the holiday of mourning.
THE QUEEN’S Corgis, Sandy And Muick, Were Brought Out To Watch Her Funeral Procession Arrive At Windsor Castle
Now that THE QUEEN’S farewell tour is over, body language experts and lip readers are probably soaking their overworked eyeballs in a Calgon bath right now after over a week of analyzing every teeny tiny move made by the Royal Family for any sign of drama. But before THE QUEEN arrived at her final resting place, King George VI memorial chapel, several of her beloved pets, including her last corgis, were brought out to say goodbye to her for one final time. And I don’t need to be a corgi body language expert to tell you that THE QUEEN’s last corgis, Sandy and Muick, were watching their human’s funeral procession while hoping that she’d jump out of her coffin, say, “PYSCH, I just wanted to fuck with Chuck,” before scooping them up and taking them far, far away from you know who.
One Man Flashed Everyone And Another One Rushed THE QUEEN’s Coffin At Westminster Hall
THE QUEEN has been gone for over a week now yet the mourning period in the UK continues to march on. I mean this quite literally as her passing has given birth to what will eventually be considered Britain’s greatest achievement: the Queue (or the long-ass line to the more uncouth). Commoners (and David Beckham) have been given the opportunity to see THE QUEEN lying in state but in order to do so, they gotta stand in a 5-mile, potentially 30-hour long queue. THE QUEEN’S Queue has been SO popular that there’s now a queue to join the queue! Based on this display one could say that the British people’s love for orderly standing surpasses their love for their monarchy! However, not everyone is keeping disciplined. There were a few rogues that were determined to make the Queue a(n even more) horrible experience.
King Charles III Faced A Leaky Pen As His Staff Are Facing Layoffs
THE QUEEN hasn’t even been laid to rest yet, but despite only having been king for less than a week, the Monarch Formerly Known as Prince Charles has already heralded in The British Royal Family’s flop age. Today, as THE QUEEN’s THE COFFIN made its procession through the streets of London to Westminster Hall followed by her children King Charles III, Prince Andrew, Princess Anne and Prince Edward, and her grandsons Prince William and Prince Harry, who managed to walk side-by-side without throwing elbows, The Guardian reports that “up to 100 employees at the King’s former official residence” were given “notice of their redundancy,” as King Chuckie Trips and Queen Consort Camila will be moving to Buckingham Palace. Which could prove disastrous from an optics standpoint given that Charles continues to have problems with unfamiliar office supplies and was nearly done in by a fancy fountain pen for a second time in this, the first week of the Carolean Age.
Prince Harry Paid Tribute To THE QUEEN In A Statement After Reuniting With Prince William For A Walkaround Outside Of Windsor Castle
Today, as the world’s most famous gran, THE QUEEN, is prepared to be laid to rest, her immediate family continue to be stiff weirdos about the whole thing so don’t expect any of them to make a scene (on purpose). All “scenes” have been carefully orchestrated and painstakingly choreographed from the costumes to the statements all the way down to the body language of THE QUEEN’s grandsons, the heir and the spare, Prince William and Prince Harry. Over the weekend, the two princes put the Spin in the Spin Doctors when they appeared side-by-side for the first time in public since Harry and his wife Meghan Markle stopped attending family functions due to security concerns, which is understandable if you are in the mafia, even a very genteel one.