In 2018, the population of the State of New York was 19.54 million. Well, Wyoming, the good news for you is that you’re about to move up a spot from the bottom of the list, because New York will be the least populated state in the country since everyone is fleeing that bitch now that semi-homemade treasure Sandra Lee is no longer its First Lady after breaking up with her partner of 14 years Governor Andrew Cuomo, formerly known as Mr. Sandra Lee. Even the Statue of Liberty was seen packing up her Patagonia and moving on over to New Jersey.
Kevin Spacey’s been out in these streets, allegedly groping and making vile, disgusting, unwanted advances toward men (and boys) for so damn long, that he finally caught a break when one of his accusers died. Outliving your victims is a strategy reserved solely for top tier predators who put in the work, year in, year out. You’ve got to hand to to Kevin; when he commits to his craft, he commits wholeheartedly. Page Six reports that the massage therapist who was suing Kevin for sexual assault, passed away, possibly putting an end to any further legal action. Looks like Kev’s gonna be able to walk this suit off like he did that limp The Usual Suspects.
Keep your comforting warm gummy bears handy, because this story is a 100% pallet sized case of Cameron Frye-sized sads. Edie McClurg of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and the best television show of our generation Small Wonder, is reportedly suffering from dementia at the age of 67. Edie’s family is currently taking action to help protect the icon (yes, she is) and are in the process of acquiring conservatorship. This story gets a bit sadder, so pick your favorite color and pop that pocket warmed gummy bear in your mouth right about now.
Last night, Offset took his public appeal to woo back his estranged wife Cardi B when he crashed her set, begging her on stage with flowers to take him back. It looks like he has upped his game, but -UGH- this guy. There were 7th grade couples at my school who had more exciting and less predictable make up/break up drama than these two. So how did Cardi react to Offset’s little reindeer games? Let’s just say she wasn’t quick to recreate their old finger banging antics on stage.
When I watch the Comedy Central show Key & Peele, I laugh. Sometimes I squint and think “Okay, I guess Jordan Peele looks like Adam DeVine.” But when Dave Chappelle watches Key & Peele, he gets sad. Sorry, A-A-Ron, but you done messed up again.
The fickle and forgetful queens that run the ‘In Memoriam’ section of the Oscars have shot their side eyes and flicked their acting scarves over their shoulders once again. Every year there are glaring omissions on the list of those that have moved on to the great green room in the sky and this year, as many of you, including my brother (Hi, Dan.), and The New York Post noticed, the biggest snub was Abe Vigoda.