Category: Sads

Shakira Is Reportedly “Heartbroken” After Seeing Pics Of Ex Gerard Piqué With His New Piece

August 26, 2022 / Posted by:

Earlier this summer, Shakira and Gerard Piqué jointly announced their split after 11 years together because he was reportedly caught passing his peen around outside of their relationship–even though one source said that Gerard couldn’t have cheated, because he and Shakira had an open relationship. But it seems like Shakira can’t catch a break lately, from her Spanish tax turmoil to the revelation that Jennifer Lopez thought that her own “croth and ass” should’ve been the only croth and ass in their joint 2020 Superbowl Halftime Show. Wild boars even wanted a piece of her, and she defeated them. But, Us Weekly says that the thing that’s really broken her down is seeing recent photos of Gerard looking romantic with model, Clara Chía.

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Sad, Sad News For New Yorkers: Sandra Lee Is No Longer Your First Lady

September 26, 2019 / Posted by:

In 2018, the population of the State of New York was 19.54 million. Well, Wyoming, the good news for you is that you’re about to move up a spot from the bottom of the list, because New York will be the least populated state in the country since everyone is fleeing that bitch now that semi-homemade treasure Sandra Lee is no longer its First Lady after breaking up with her partner of 14 years Governor Andrew Cuomo, formerly known as Mr. Sandra Lee. Even the Statue of Liberty was seen packing up her Patagonia and moving on over to New Jersey.

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The Massage Therapist Who Was Suing Kevin Spacey For Sexual Assault Has Died

September 18, 2019 / Posted by:

Kevin Spacey’s been out in these streets, allegedly groping and making vile, disgusting, unwanted advances toward men (and boys) for so damn long, that he finally caught a break when one of his accusers died. Outliving your victims is a strategy reserved solely for top tier predators who put in the work, year in, year out. You’ve got to hand to to Kevin; when he commits to his craft, he commits wholeheartedly. Page Six reports that the massage therapist who was suing Kevin for sexual assault, passed away, possibly putting an end to any further legal action. Looks like Kev’s gonna be able to walk this suit off like he did that limp The Usual Suspects.

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Edie McClurg’s Family Is Seeking Conservatorship, Claims She Is Suffering From Dementia

February 3, 2019 / Posted by:

Keep your comforting warm gummy bears handy, because this story is a 100% pallet sized case of Cameron Frye-sized sads. Edie McClurg of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and the best television show of our generation Small Wonder, is reportedly suffering from dementia at the age of 67. Edie’s family is currently taking action to help protect the icon (yes, she is) and are in the process of acquiring conservatorship. This story gets a bit sadder, so pick your favorite color and pop that pocket warmed gummy bear in your mouth right about now.

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Offset Crashed Cardi B’s Concert Last Night In A Public Attempt To Win Her Back

December 16, 2018 / Posted by:

Last night, Offset took his public appeal to woo back his estranged wife Cardi B when he crashed her set, begging her on stage with flowers to take him back. It looks like he has upped his game, but -UGH- this guy. There were 7th grade couples at my school who had more exciting and less predictable make up/break up drama than these two. So how did Cardi react to Offset’s little reindeer games? Let’s just say she wasn’t quick to recreate their old finger banging antics on stage.

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