Category: Orlando Bloom
Katy Perry And Orlando Bloom Have Put Their Wedding On Ice For The Time Being
Us Weekly told us back in October that Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom were going to get married in December, which is now. Katy’s December did involve expensive custom dresses, professional hair and makeup, over-the-top decorations, gifts galore, and a cute guy in a suit, except the guy was Santa, and it was all for the music video for Cozy Little Christmas.
Katy Perry And Orlando Bloom Are Planning A December Wedding
Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom have finally set the date. When the proposal happens on Valentine’s Day, includes a helicopter ride, heart-shaped mylar balloons, and you could buy an entire black market human baby with the money spent on the engagement ring, you know the wedding is going to be a production. Us Weekly reports that Katy and Orlando are planning a December wedding. Which means it’s going to a Winter Wedding, which means it’s probably going to be too much. I won’t be surprised if they get married inside a to-scale glitter snow globe.
Prince Harry And Duchess Meghan Are Going To A Star-Filled Wedding This Weekend
Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan are going to have to take a temporary break from relating to regular people, because Us Weekly says they’re in Rome for a wedding. And it’s not a regular people wedding with watered-down bar rail drinks, a DJ bumping LMFAO, and $49.99 toasters from Target. It’s a big, fancy, star-studded affair in Rome hosted by Meghan’s fashion designer BFF Misha Nonoo and her millionaire oil heir fiancé Michael Hess.
Orlando Bloom Assures Everyone His Dick Isn’t That Big
There are definitely people who will zoom in CSI-style on the crotch folds of Orlando Bloom’s trousers, hoping to be able to call him a liar. But save your time! Orlando swears that no matter what you think, or what you think you remember from those paddle boarding pictures, it’s not that big.
Katy Perry Loves Enemas And Apple Cider Vinegar So Much She Bought The Company
Katy Perry is diversifying. She’s torn a page right out of Soulja Boy’s Big Book Of Big Ideas and is slapping her name on all manner of products. Simultaneously, she’s out here promoting a very Goop on a budget lifestyle. Trust me, if you already think you know too much about Goop’s poops, you are not ready to hear about Perry’s dingleberries.
Katy was probably prompted to open up about her love of enemas as part of her “Ayurvedic eating and cleansing” routine because she and fiancé Orlando Bloom are recent investors in Bragg Live Food Products. That’s the company that ruined my childhood with their nutritional yeast, which by law, is liberally sprinkled on every bowl of popcorn served in the city of Berkeley. Bragg is also known for their apple cider vinegar and that crusty bottle of amino acids that’s been in the back of my aunt’s cabinet for the last 20 years. Katy calls that shit “mindful eating”.
Karlie Kloss And The Other Kushner Had A Dude Ranch Second Wedding
Karlie Kloss, the nebulous mist that manifests itself into a vague human form and hosts Project Runway, had the second wedding of her dreams over the weekend. Karlie and her husband of 8 months Joshua Kushner, hosted a 3-day wedding celebration on a Wyoming ranch, presumably for friends who couldn’t make it to their intimate 80-person Jewish wedding in October of last year. I don’t know if Taylor Swift was out of town again or what, but she wasn’t there. That meant there was room for Karlie’s replacement BFF, Katy Perry and her fiancé Orlando Bloom. And it looks like Josh’s brother and sister-in-law Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump’s beds were given up to make room for a few dozen sweaty Brokeback Mountain jokes. So overall, an upgrade.