And In Totally True News, Katy Perry And Orlando Bloom Want Jennifer Aniston To Be Their Child’s Godmother

The Mirror (which means this entire story is 100% true) says that Katy Perry and Jennifer Aniston are like BFFs and have been spending a lot of time together during the coronavirus quarantine (or as Jen calls it, an “oddly beautiful” time) by going on socially distant walks and shit. Well, Katy is about to give birth to her first child, the child she made with Orlando Bloom, and sources say that Jen has already been asked to be their kid’s godmother. Please don’t tell me that Asian Brit, Katy Perry, is going to ask Prince Charles to be the godfather next.

Jennifer is already a godmother to  Courteney Cox‘s daughter, Coco. And a source claims that another baby is going to get a gift basket of Aveeno and SmartWater products and EyeLove eyelash wash on their birthday every year because Katy asked Jen to be godmother to her daughter and Jen became a slobbering mess over the offer. Cue up the tabloid headlines: “Miserable and Lonely Jen Not So Lonely No More As She Becomes godMOTHER to a Child!” via The Mirror:

The pal said: “Katy and Jen are very close. During lockdown they went for socially distanced walks, and spent lots of time catching up.

“She is pretty chuffed about it as well and cried when they asked her.”

CHUFFED? Either Orlando Bloom is the source or The Mirror intern who came up with this story forgot to Google, “What is the Yank word for chuffed?”

This story is hard to believe and not only because it came from The Mirror. But because we all know that Katy Pery is going to once again show us that she and Taylor Swift don’t hate each other anymore by making Taylor her child’s godmother. And yes, Katy will name her daughter Olive Branch.

Pics: Wenn.com