Category: Randy Jackson
Open Post: Hosted By Paula Abdul Calling Simon Cowell “The STD”
Paula Abdul may not be able to name a single winner of the rebooted American Idol but that doesn’t mean she’s going to turn down a check from them! After country singer and judge, Luke Bryan, revealed yesterday that he had contracted COVID-19, it was announced that Paula would fill in for him when the show started the first live shows. She sure filled that space; using her return to the Idol stage to call former original judge Simon Cowell “the STD.”
Janet Jackson’s Recent Custody Drama Might Have Started Over A WiFi Fight
Few things can send tempers flaring into third-degree burn territory faster than a fight over WiFi. I’ve seen friendships destroyed by the words, “Just give me the fucking password for Pretty Fly For A WiFi.” It’s a tense situation, and one that Janet Jackson is now intimately familiar with. The Blast claims to have some more information on what led Janet to call 911 on her ex Wissam Al Mana on Saturday night, and it might have all been started because Wissam wasn’t being generous with the WiFi.
Farewell, American Idol
The show that gave us the rebirth of the Vicodin-infused jewel that is Paula Abdul and created an all-evil, Kartrashian-making Satanic monster out of a leprechaun with Sun-In highlights will end after 13 years and 15 seasons. The 22-year-old in me who used to watch that mess religiously and even voted several times (You can judge me since I judge myself for that!) is bawling like Paula Abdul when her pharmacist at CVS would say the words: No more refills!
FOX announced this morning that American Idol has been renewed for one last time. Its 15th season will be its last. JLo, Harry Connick Jr., Keith Urban and Ryan Seacrest will all be back. American Idol started writing its own death certificate a few years ago when Simon Cowell and his furry tit pies left it to do the American version of the X-Factor. American Idol’s current ratings aren’t even close to what they were during its glory days. FOX burped this statement today:
“American Idol will begin its 15th — and final — season this January on FOX. A season-long celebratory event, American Idol XV will feature host Ryan Seacrest and judges Jennifer Lopez, Keith Urban and Harry Connick, Jr., as they search for the final Idol superstar and pay tribute to the past 14 seasons of amazingly talented contestants and the millions of fans who tweeted, texted and championed their Idols.”
Why even bother searching for one last Idol? Just like all the other winners of the past few years, the final Idol will be lucky if they’re able to book a gig at the opening of a strip mall in Oshkosh, Wisconsin. For its final season, American Idol should bring back some of its best losers (Sanjaya, Tatiana Del Toro, the thorn in my ass lip Kristy Lee Cook, William Hung, Carmen Rasmusen, Kevin Covais, Jim Verraros, etc…) and let them battle it out. Or better yet, American Idol’s final season should be devoted to finding out whatever happened to Brian Dunkleman:
(SPOILER ALERT: Brian Dunkleman exists and he’s spreading the truth on Twitter.)
And the final episode better feature a performance from American Idol’s greatest discovery: RHONETTA!
American Idol’s death would be in vain if Rhonetta and Paula Abdul don’t sing “Straight Up” together during the last show.