Category: Aaron Rodgers

Shailene Woodley Says She Had “The Best Month Ever”

June 30, 2022 / Posted by:

With all of the things going on in this nightmare scenario of an era we’re currently living through, many are on a quest to find the light in the darkness. Well, look no further: enter Shailene Woodley, who just closed her legs to the sun, oiled up her stink-pits, took a nice, long sip of lukewarm bone broth, and put finger to phone screen to be that beacon. Her recent ex-fiancé, Aaron Rodgers, said that she taught him about unconditional love. Apparently, her love really doesn’t have conditions, because she’s now even professing it to abstract ideas, like months. On Wednesday, she posted a selfie on Instagram captioned with a doting letter addressed to June. See? Not everything’s bad, guys! Even though most of us had a month that went about as well as Shailene’s Divergent franchise, a Hollywood actress with awful takes and even worse hygiene had a great last 30 days!

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Aaron Rodgers’s Rumored New Girlfriend Says She’s Not A Witch

June 12, 2022 / Posted by:

Aaron Rodgers, the NFL’s most expensive football player and authority on COVID vaccines, has a type when it comes to women it seems. After moving on from cool girls who break up families, he appears to now go for earthy hippy women who may or may not dabble in clay eating. Now that his relationship with Shailene Woodley is over, Aaron is rumored to have struck up a romance with a witch! Ok, so she says she’s not a witch, but it’d be pretty cool if she was.

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Aaron Rodgers Is Now The Highest Paid Player In NFL History

March 8, 2022 / Posted by:

Now that Tom Brady is officially retired from the football, there needs to be a new grossly-overpaid quarterback in the NFL. And it looks like it’s none other than Aaron Rodgers, the man who can just as effectively throw a football as he can catch COVID. After nearly a year of some will he/won’t he antics, Aaron has decided he will continue to be a Green Bay Packer, by signing a 4-year contract to stay with the team until 2026. That contract also comes with tons of money, so much so that 38-year-old Aaron Rodgers is now the highest-paid NFL player in history.

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Shailene Woodley And Aaron Rodgers Are Probably Still Together

February 25, 2022 / Posted by:

Fans of romance between a TV actress with hippie tendencies and an NFL quarterback-turned-COVID vaccine conspiracy theorist are eating good tonight! Because it looks like Shailene Woodley and Aaron Rodgers might not be as broken up as previously reported. Shailene and Aaron reportedly called off their engagement about a week and a half ago, reportedly due to not spending enough time together. And it really did sound like things came to a conclusive end. Except, that Aaron has been dropping hints that he and Shailene might not actually be over. And then Aaron and Shailene were recently seen together grabbing breakfast.

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Aaron Rodgers Says He Still Loves Shailene Woodley And Is Grateful To Her For Showing Him Unconditional Love

February 22, 2022 / Posted by:

Despite looking like a fleshy, walking, talking, yet barely coherent Bored Ape, Aaron Rodgers has the heart and soul of a poet. And he proved that yesterday with a lengthy Instagram post that misquotes Rumi, and with radical gratitude, recounts the moments he first met Shailene Woodley, the woman who showed him “what unconditional love looks like.” Even though they broke off their engagement last week, Aaron says he still loves Shailene and is grateful for her. And in that spirit, Aaron ended his missive with the words “spread love and gratitude,” which is technically impossible to do while simultaneously spreading coronavirus but hey, I guess it’s the sentiment that counts.

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