Category: Lily Allen
Lily Allen And David Harbour From “Stranger Things” Are Probably A Thing
Zoe Kravitz’s favorite singer Lily Allen and hot daddybear David Harbour took their rumored relationship out in public for the first time, according to The Herald Publicist. Before we get into this, it should be noted that the best part of this story is the Herald Publicist’s writer referring to David’s show Stranger Things as “Stranger Issues.” That sounds like a reality show in which vampires, witches, and werewolves sit down with therapists to talk about their past trauma and current dissatisifaction with their lives and I’d watch the shit out of it.
The Celebrities At The “Brit Awards” Came To Party (Party City, That Is)
Advance apologies to our British readers, but I don’t know who any of your “celebrities” are unless they are Dames, Sirs, Katie Price or Idris Elba. I may have no idea who Rita Ora is, but ya’ll sure do know how to put the “F” in Fashion (if the F stands for “fuck is this?”). The Brit Awards, Britain’s equivalent to The Grammys, were last night and apparently, the theme for the red carpet was “Party at Party City“. There were enough pinatas, clown suits, vinyl tablecloths, crepe paper ruffles, and discounted Halloween costumes on display to stock every single party store in Britain for the next millennium. Above is noted (somewhere) fabric sculptor and designer Daniel Lismore, who’s ready to serve as the punch bowl at your next Luau/Red Wedding themed get-together.
You Definitely Won’t Find Lily Allen’s Book On Zoë Kravitz’s Nightstand
Then again – according to Zoë Kravitz – you probably won’t find it on many people’s nightstands.
On Tuesday night’s Watch What Happens Live, Zoë Kravitz and Eddie Redmayne were there to promote Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindewald. During the call-in portion of the show, Zoë was asked about her appearance in Lily Allen’s memoir My Thoughts Exactly. Much like the title of that book, Zoë let everyone know exactly what she thinks about Lily, which is basically: Zoë is not a fan.
Gwyneth Paltrow And Chris Martin Tried To Stage An Intervention For Lily Allen
Lily Allen’s new memoir, My Thoughts Exactly, goes on sale next week and it’s got the celebrity substance abuse sadness stories that are really the only reason to write a memoir. No one cares what elementary school you went to, but they do want to read about the time you were giving Orlando Bloom a lap dance at Kate Hudson’s 2014 Halloween party in L.A. and knocked yourself out cold after accidentally head-butting him. Yep, Lily did that. The Sun got a hold of an advance copy of Lily’s book and wrote about the time that she was in such bad shape that the consciously uncoupled Paltrow-Martins had to take her under their assuredly rare and overpriced wing.
Lily Allen Says She Hired Female Escorts During Her Last Tour
Yesterday Lily Allen revealed on Instagram that she hired herself some female escorts during her last tour, according to Metro UK. And? Isn’t that part of everyone’s tour rider? It’s 2018. One imagines that even Celine Dion has several talonneurs scattered about backstage when she tours. It’s “no brown M&Ms,” a 14-inch long Danny’s Favorite sub from Wegmans, and hookers, right?
Zayn Malik Has Been Trying To Woo Lily Allen By Sending Her Nude Pics
So, despite the fact that Lily Allen has been skipping around divorce rumors for what feels like forever and that she recently joined Tinder, she’s still technically a married lady. But that doesn’t seem to be stopping former One Direction fetus Zayn Malik from trying to court her. According to The Sun, 22-year-old Zayn has been wooing 30-year-old Lily with a collection of NSFW pics.
Lily’s friends say that Zayn has had it bad for Lily since they met on a flight about two years ago, which isn’t sex-code for anything – they legitimately met on a flight. Of course, he couldn’t really pursue Lily because he was with Perrie Edwards. But once Zayn and Perrie’s love joined the rest of the soggy broken hearts on the stinky south-facing pile of expired relationships that was the Summer of Splits, he was free to pursue her. Or should I say “peensue.” Don’t worry, I’ll show myself out for that one. A source close to Lily gave The Sun this extremely British-sounding piece of gossip.
“Zayn fancies Lily and has made that very clear. He has even sent her X-rated pics and raunchy texts which Lily has told quite a few people in her close circle about. She’s flattered.”
I like to think the source then added: “Zayn thinks Lily is a really fit bird. He’s chuffed to bits about her. I know he’d fancy a snog and a shag, and he’s hoping a few mobile snaps of his trouser prawn will seal the deal.” Then he peeled away in his Shaguar while hollering “Yeah, baby!”
I’ve got to hand it to Zayn. He may be young, but he truly knows what a woman wants. I mean, nothing says “Will u be mine?” like a blurry weird angle pic of your junk. That’s so sweet. I’m sure Nicholas Sparks just lit his laptop on fire because he knows he can’t compete with Zayn’s next-level romance.
Pics: Splash