Multi-millionaire sappy romance novelist, Nicholas Sparks, got into some more trouble the other day because of some emails that got released by The Daily Beast. The emails showed that Nicholas didn’t want the queers tainting his Christian school with their gay shit. The school is called the Epiphany School of Global Studies. Honestly, that is a “yikes” name to me. They either train witches or highly-pretentious rich folk–and I know all the witch schools in North America, so it ain’t that. Nicholas has now come out (wink-wink) with an apology to us gays during our Holy Month: Pride. And it is a tepid one–unlike his distaste for homosexuality.
You know that fairy tale about The Princess and The Troll? No? That’s because I made it up. The real story is The Princess Is A Troll and it stars Princess Michael of Kent. Well before Meghan Markle put her filthy, common, colony hands all over Kensington Palace, Aatish Taseer, who is of Indian and Pakistani heritage, used to have the pleasure of pissing in the royal loos of KP. He’s just written a piece for Vanity Fair and says that when he was dating Princess Michael’s daughter, he saw and heard some shit. Namely, that PM tried to get cute by naming her pet sheep Venus and Serena. Can you guess the color of the sheep? I bet you can.
Kim Zolciak has made it very clear that she has no intention of returning to The Real Housewives of Atlanta. We don’t know the reasons but NeNe Leakes hinted that something untoward (and considering what passes for toward on those shows, it must have been really nasty) had gone down “behind the scenes” at the season 10 reunion special.
Have you heard the one about Dave Chappelle and the banana peel? It’s really not funny but that never stopped me before so here you go. So a guy with a banana walks into a bar, Dave says something he doesn’t like so he throws a banana peel at him and gets escorted out of the building by security. Dave declines to press charges. Ready for the punchline? According to The Hollywood Reporter, the guy, Christian Englander, is now suing Dave and the security guard/“presumed bodyguard” claiming he was “struck twice while being restrained.”
Happy Martin Luther King Day! Since we don’t have our own giant pile of racist garbage to deal with (/sarcasm), we must turn our attention across the pond to find some trash that needs throwing out.
Meet Henry Bolton and his lady love Jo Marney. According to Newsweek, Henry is the leader of Britain’s “far-right” UK Independence Party (UKIP) and Jo is a “25” year old “Presenter. Music Journalist. Model. Actor. Brexiteer” who was also a member of UKIP until she got busted sending racists text messages about Meghan Markle.