Sara Gilbert (aka Darlene from Roseanne and The Conners) and bohemian mystic Linda Perry of 4 Non Blondes have called it quits after almost six years of marriage. Whenever a celebrity lesbian couple with kids splits up, a member of that anti-gay group One Million Moms gets her bat wings, so that’s some shitty news with which to start your weekend off.
Roseanne Barr knows better than anyone that nobody can hurt you as deeply as your own pretend family. In an interview with The Washington Post (why tho?), Roseanne accused her pretend daughter, Sara Gilbert, of ruining her career and destroying her life. I know, I know! I too thought thought Ambien had ruined Roseanne’s career. I guess the good folks at Sanofi-Aventis will sleep soundly tonight knowing they no longer have the blood of Roseanne’s mangled career on their hands.
The Conners premiered last night and as expected, they wasted no time in killing off Roseanne. Also as expected, the writers killed her off with an opioid overdose. Roseanne knew this day was coming, but she sure as hell isn’t happy about the way her character went out.
It’s been more than four months since ABC cancelled Roseanne. Since then, a lot has happened. Roseanne has remained supremely messy. ABC brought back Roseanne but changed the name to The Conners. Through it all, the rest of the main cast hasn’t really said too much, save for the odd tweet denouncing Roseanne’s twitter racism, or John Goodman’s confession that he was pretty depressed when the show was canned. Well, Sara Gilbert, John, and Laurie Metcalf have been talking to People, and of course they talked about Roseanne’s exit.
As expected, TV Line is reporting that ABC has ordered a spin-off of their Roseanne revival tentatively titled The Conners. Just like that, the Roseanne in Roseanne disappears into the Roseanne graveyard of things we never speak of again, like Dan’s death, or Lonnie Anderson.
Roseanne Barr’s holy conscious may finally be cleared, everyone! No, not because she’s stopped being offensive, racist or crazy–that’s not what’s been keeping her up at night. Roseanne (pictured above with the one black person she knows, 8-year-old co-star, actress Jayden Rey) no longer needs to worry her pure soul about putting a bunch of wealthy Caucasian actors out of work: the Roseanne spinoff is close to confirmed!