Remember when Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper hit the stage of the 91st annual Academy Awards back in 2019, and gave the kind of over-the-top performance of the Oscar-winning original song “Shallow” that had people nervously wondering how gross and slimy that shared piano bench was after they finally got up from it? It had a lot of people wondering what was going on between Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper, who was with Irina Shayk at the time. Lady Gaga played a little coy and said that it was two people who made a love story, that wanted everyone to believe they were in love. Now, two years later, Bradley Cooper is like, yeah, we were absolutely faking it. In case you didn’t already figure that out….
If you enjoy YouTuber Jake Paul, then what is wrong with you?!Because I don’t understand the allure of this 22-year-old uber-douche-bro who looks like if Eminem was cloned and has his DNA spliced with a sweat-stained Ed Hardy t-shirt and a soft jawline. But anyway, this douchebag got married last night and it was totally real and not just a PR grab. It was a total shit-show complete with an Oprah Winfrey impersonator!
I didn’t even bat an eye when a couple of days ago on Celebrity Big Brother Dina Lohan admitted that she had never met her boyfriend of five years. Obviously Dina has a boyfriend of five years that she has never met or even FaceTimed with and is going to marry even though she has never once laid eyes on “him” (we don’t really know if he’s a he, do we?). This is Dina Lohan we are talking about and there is no end to the fuckery that she’s produced. Lucky for us, but not so much Dina, Catfish host (the one who isn’t leaving the show) Nev Schulman has raised his hand to play Captain Save-A-Ho and is offering to expose Dina’s “man” as a catfish fraud.
Ah, Valentine’s Day. The perfect day to plant a smooch on that special someone in your life. And maybe to take a picture of it. And also post it to Instagram so that millions of people can share in your love. That’s what Rosario Dawson did with her new man yesterday. Except it happened so many times and with such a varying degree of thirst that many people, including Chance the Rapper, thought it was a stunt. But according to Chance the Rapper, it’s not.
Back in May, lips started whispering that the sister holding the Olsen twins’ spare set of kidneys, Elizabeth Olsen, and Tom Hiddleston were informally rubbing sticks and stones together after she called it quits with her fiancé Boyd Holbrook. Well, according to the The National Enquirer (via Hollywood Gossip), it was all just lies to distract you from the truth: that she’s actually doing fellow Avenger Chris Evans. And just like that, every Hiddlestan dropped their pitchforks and slowly backed away from Elizabeth Olsen’s house.
A source says that Scarlet Witch and Captain America have been getting their secret hump on during the filming of Captain America: Civil War in Atlanta, but want to keep it on the down-low because Chris Evans doesn’t want to be seen as a skirt-chasing pussy hound.
“Chris is paranoid about his womanizing becoming public while he’s on this multi-picture deal with Marvel. He’s protecting his image, and will bend over backwards to keep things quiet.”
I don’t know why Elizabeth and Chris had to concoct such an elaborate scheme to cover their fucking tracks and drag Tom Hiddleston into this mess. If anyone cornered Elizabeth at the craft services table and asked her if she’s banging Captain America, all she had to do is pull an Ariana Grande and claim he’s just a “friend with a penis.” Then again, this news is from the Enquirer, which means there’s a 99.9999% chance it’s a pile of lies. Maybe this lie is also a lie meant to distract us from the REAL truth: that Chris Evans is secretly banging Betty White. I knew it! Get it, Golden Girl.
Diplo, Katy Perry’s mouthy ex-boyfriend and public enemy no. 1 to the Taylor Swift fan club, has once again opened his mouth and taken a verbal dump on someone, this time on fellow iTunes jockey Zedd for being a money-chasing fake. That’s right, a grown-ass 36-year-old DJ who used to date someone famous is dragging a 25-year-old DJ because he’s pretending to date someone famous. Ah, what a time to be alive!
During an interview with Radio.com (via The Daily Mail), Diplo pulled out his Burn Book, turned to the page marked “Zedd is a grotsky little beyotch” and started spitting hot hate about Zedd and his maybe-girlfriend Selena Gomez. Several months ago, Zedd and Selena started working together, which lead to their genitals working together. Or at least that’s what they let people believe. According to Diplo, maybe-dating a famous toddler-faced chanteuse for publicity has landed Zedd a one-way ticket aboard the Sellout Express.
“I’m actually not enemies with Zedd by any means. I just think that he came from such a cool place, and now he’s been pegged as a money-maker for a major label to do EDM, which to me isn’t even a genre. But they’ve pegged him for that, they’ve marketed him, even the fake relationship with Selena Gomez, all the things to sell records took away from the music.”
Since Diplo is clearly a bitchy 13-year-old girl trapped in the body of a 36-year-old man, I’m curious as to who he’s going to come for next. I’m sure that somewhere in the only cat-free room of Taylor Swift’s Candy Cane Castle, Calvin Harris has just lit his Our Lady of Perpetual Button-Pushing DJ candle and started praying that Diplo doesn’t drag him into this whole “professional iTunes jockeys who date celebrities for publicity” mess.