Looking at this picture of Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris sharing an awkward “LOOK AT US!!! LOOK HOW IN LOVE WE ARE!!!” moment at the Billboard Music Awards last night made me instantly feel so sorry for all the adults who chaperoned my middle school dances. It’s enough to make me want to track them all down and hand-write apology letters.
So we already know that Taylor Swift needed a lot of attention at the Billboard Music Awards last night, so none of us should be surprised that she busted out some serious stunt queen moves by going in for a choreographed-looking kiss with the current boy she’s chasing before accepting the award for Top Album for 1989 (one of eight awards she ended up taking home last night). If you’ve ever wanted to see what it looks like when Taylor Swift mentally works through the instructions her PR coach gave her (“One and two and hand on neck and sugar and spice and everything nice“), here it is.
Good lord, they’re both so stiff; it’s like watching an invisible 6-year-old make Kevin plant one on Skipper. Also, chill out, you two – it’s just a Billboard award! No need for all the dramatics. But as hard as they tried, their awkward award show smooch couldn’t hold a candle to the original and best:
That’s it, Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley at the 1994 MTV VMAs – show those two stunt queens how it’s done!
Here’s more of Tay Tay serving up some living Goetze’s Cow Tales realness before the show with four low-ranking soldiers of her famous friends army, and Calvin Harris, who sort of looks like the dude version of Taylor Swift, right?