The walls of Tumblr are barely standing and are covered in cracks from Benjidog Cummerbund getting married and hatching eggs into that Sophie Hunter trick and this news is probably going to make them completely crumble into a million pieces. My thoughts and prayers are with the N and O keys on the keyboard of every Hiddlestoner’s computer, because they’re probably using the shit out of those kyes while typing NOOOONONONONONONONONONO over and over again.
UsWeekly says that the beloved prince of Tumblr Tom Hiddleston is casually wet humping on the third Olsen, Elizabeth Olsen. Tom and Elizabeth didn’t work together on the Avengers. (He shot a scene, but it got cut.) Some source says that they got really close while shooting the Hank Williams biopic I Saw The Light together. Elizabeth Olsen just broke up with her fiancé Boyd Holbrook in January, so she and Loki are just fuck buddies for now.
“They have been hooking up,” the insider tells Us of the longtime friends.
“It’s casual,” the insider says, adding that the two won’t be rushing into titles anytime soon, but they do make sure to “text when they’re apart.” And the timing for Hiddleston, 34, couldn’t be more perfect, considering Olsen, 26, called off her engagement to Boyd Holbrook this past January.
“She wants to make a new life for herself,” the source says. “She’s having fun.”
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have probably already pulled out the cauldron and are now chewing off frog legs, yanking out the nails of a black chicken and preparing the blood of a first born newborn, because they know they’re going to need to conjure up a serious dark magic spell to protect their sister from Loki’s fans. His fans will rage knowing that when Elizabeth Olsen looks down after he nibbles on her chocha, she gets to see that smiling face staring back at her. (And depending how sweaty he is, she might be able to get to see her reflection in his glorious forehead.) Or maybe his fans aren’t raging, because they’re holding it all in as they rock back and forth while they tell themselves, “Oh, it’s just PR, it’s just PR, it’s just PR.” I feel them. I do that every time Prince Hot Ginge hooks up with another dishwater blonde.