Look, we all knew Lady Gaga was going to be extra as hell last night. And praise Jeebus, she did not disappoint. From her emotionally overwrought yet ultimately trite acceptance speech for Best Original Song, to her bold choice to bring a Glidden paint swatch in Tangerine Dream to her stylist and say “match this”, Lady Gaga was doing the most, to say the least. So of course, when her BIG MOMENT came, and she and Bradley Cooper took to the stage to perform Shallow, she took the performance to the next level. I should say “they”, but I think we all know who was really “directing”. There were lingering stares, there were orgasmic undulations, and by the end, there was intimate canoodling which some people thought was TOO HOT FOR NETWORK TV AND DISRESPECTFUL TO BRADLEY’S GIRLFRIEND. Well, that’s what Mel B thought at least. Yes, that Mel B.
In case you missed it, here’s what it takes to scandalize Mel B.
According to Page Six, Mel appeared on Good Morning Britain with Piers Morgan, so you know she had the moral high ground when she said the performance made her feel “uncomfortable”. Coke fueled sex parties with the nanny are OK, but Gaga and Coop overselling a movie romance to dramatic effect on an awards show is too much? Mel and Piers went on like a couple of gossipy fish wives about how the performance was disrespectful to Bradley’s girlfriend (and mother of his baby) Irina Shayk.
Speaking on “Good Morning Britain” on Monday, she said: “See, I felt so uncomfortable for Bradley’s girlfriend, oh my gosh.”
The breakfast show’s host, Piers Morgan, continued: “It was the look of love, wasn’t it?”
To which Mel added: “It really was and that’s the whole gossip. That’s the whole thing.”
She continued: “But I would like to think it was part of the whole performance, because there’s a women’s code and hopefully that’s not … hopefully it’s only professional.”
Unsurprising, it was Piers who really seemed the most butt-hurt by Lady Gaga’s flagrant display of single-womanhood.
He vented: “Lady Gaga taking her engagement ring off — she just broke off from her fiance — and if you put the maths together, you have engagement ring off, and then staring at Bradley Cooper in a way that I would say crosses a few lines.”
Pish. Lady Gaga knows exactly what she’s doing; dragging this shit out as long as she possibly can. What, did you think that after last night you’d never have to hear Shallow again? You poor, optimistic fool. She probably texted Mel B last night and asked her to whip Piers up into a froth for her, “thanks love”. All the same, Page Six speculated that Irina “made a point” to sit in between Gaga and Coop. So, maybe Mel B has a point, or not. But maybe there is something untoward going on, I wouldn’t put anything past the Gagabot 3000.